


Boop the Snoot for Critical Damage!

by The_Mad_Dragon



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), RWBY
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-10-23 02:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mad_Dragon/pseuds/The_Mad_Dragon
Summary: Fusing the high-octane universe of RWBY with the high-octane universe of Borderlands, the Boopverse aims to become the highest of octanes! Join an all-new and gently warped version of Team RWBY as they seek the Vault of Pandora, with all of it's treasures... and all of it's horrors.





	1. Red

_Once upon a time, humanity made the mistake of trying to conquer the stars._  
  
Well, it was slightly more complicated than that, but the general gist of what I'm getting at is that even with, y'know, ALL OF SPACE, humanity still felt the need to go to war with itself for territory.  
  
_After a few centuries of on and off slaughter, the human race has split off_ **not** _into nations as one might hope, but a menagerie of self interested corporations all vying for power. And by power, I mean Eridium._  
  
The magic substance that makes faster than light speeds possible, and, well... has a tendency to lure the creature's of Grimm like fly's to honey.  
  
And where there's Grimm... there's gonna be Bandits.  
  
Poor lost souls who didn't have the good fortune to be killed by the monsters. Instead, they're taken to the Grimm's lair and... made to put on a mask that strips them of all their sanity. It warps  _them into something... no longer human. Best thing you can do for them is to put them down._  
  
Anyway it's not entirely _hopeless. Humanity soon learned that wherever there's Eridium, there's Dust. And where there's Dust, there's hope._  
  
Hope... that comes in the form of the Huntsmen and Huntresses of the Interstellar Hunting Agency. An independent organization dedicated to protecting the human race from Bandits, Grimm, and in some sad cases, each other. The major corporations... kinda _get along with the IHA to varying degrees depending on where you live. But one thing they all agree on? Anyone willing to go fight the forces of darkness are to be greeted with open arms. (Even if they try to skimp out on paying bounties. Bastards.)_  
  
So, that's the current state of things. Bad corporations, evil monsters, and those who are stupid or brave enough to keep the wheel turnin' for humanity.  
  
_And in the middle of all this, in far off corner of the universe, a deadly little planet named Pandora sings her siren call of an ancient alien Vault and the endless glory, riches- and maybe even a little hope- contained within..._  
  
But only fools believe that.  


 

**~~~~~**

**_RED_ **

**_~~~~~_ **

With the grace and dignity of a rocket propelled brick, a small transport crashed into one of Pandora's many Hell deserts, creating a several mile long trench. Most of the ancient looking machine's fins and wings were scraped off as it screeched across the desert. Before it came to a halt, its weight flattened a four legged creature with a vertical mouth as it was innocently chewing on the skull of a hapless traveler.  
  
As what was left of the ship's hull began to cool, a panel popped off, and a feminine figure clad in a bright red cloak emerged from the wreckage.  
  
"So  _that's_  why they rented it to me for so cheap." She sighed as the one remaining wing fell to the ground. She reached back into the hole she exited from, and pulled a heavy red duffel bag to her shoulder. "Welp! No use crying over spilled milk, or the fifty dollars I spent on this! Time to kick-start this treasure hunt!" She cheerfully declared.  
  
The young woman lowered her hood an shrugged her cloak to her back revealing a fetching young woman black and red hair, wearing a short red skirt, combat boots, and a sleeveless black tank top.  
  
And on the left side of her body where the pale skin was exposed, blue tattoos glistened with sweat from the top her shoulder to all the way down to wear leg met boot.  


 

**_RUBY ROSE as..._ **

**_THE CRIMSON SIREN_ **

  
Just as Ruby was about to pick a random direction to walk in, her scroll began to ring. She frowned as she opened it and saw it was from a number she didn't know. "Telemarketers? Even on Pandora? Sheesh." She said as she hit the 'ignore' button.  
  
The scroll rang a second time. Same number. She pouted and hit ignore again.  
  
She made it another few steps before something in her pocket began to beep. Confused, she pulled out a long rectangular device and unfolded it into some kind of  _tablet_ configuration. Upon it's screen were the words: _'PLEASE, ANSWER YOUR SCROLL! IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!'_  
  
Ruby gasped. "I didn't even get past my lock screen! Yang was right! Hackerman is  _real!"_  
  
She shoved the device back into her pocket, and picked up her pace, trying to leave the hacker-haunted ship behind.  
  
The scroll rang a third time, she didn't even bother checking it before she hit ignore.  
  
Then another loud beeping sounded off, this time from her duffel bag. Horrified, she turned her eyes to the sound.  
  
"No, no, no, no, no! Not my laptop! That's where my games live!"  
  
Reluctantly she pulled the computer out, and read what was on the screen.  
  
_'I'M NOT KIDDING! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU! NOW, PLEASE. ANSWER. YOUR. SCROLL!!!!'_  
  
The scroll once more rang. Ruby reluctantly answered it. "Hackerman?"  
  
The panicked voice of a young woman answered.  _"I- what? No! My name's Angel, and you're in terrible danger!"_  
  
Ruby looked around her. There was naught but the wreckage of her rental and the empty desert. "Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but I already crashed."  
  
_"I'm not talking about that! You have a Bandit war band closing in on your position! You have maybe three minutes!'_  
  
"Oh?" Ruby answered cheerfully. "That's great!"  
  
_"If you follow my instructions, I can guide you to a- wait. Did you just say 'great?'"_  
  
"Yep!" Ruby replied, setting her bag down and rummaging through its contents. "I don't suppose you could tell me what kind?"  
  
_"I- okay... satellite feeds show twenty-one Beowolves, three Ursas, fourteen Psychoes, seven Maruaders, and three Bruisers."_ There was a small pause as the caller let the words sink in.  _"Er,_   _would you like to run away? I can get you to an escape route-"_  
  
"Pft,  _nah."_ Ruby said as she pulled out a blocky red contraption. With a gesture, it folded out into a heavy sniper rifle. "My Dad used to make me kill more than that back at home for  _training."_  
  
"Oh... cool. That must have been... nice?" Angel said awkwardly.  _"So, I presume you're here for the Vault?"_  
  
"Yep!" The young Siren replied, detaching the barrel of the sniper rifle, placed it into the bag, and retrieved a[ double-barreled replacement with the Vladof logo printed on its base.](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/borderlands/images/7/7b/Sniper_Vladof_Lyuda_%28Inspect_View%29.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170706151856) She popped it into place and replaced the weapon's clip with a drum. "How'd you guess?"  
  
_"Well, it's the only thing that's interesting about Pandora that really draws anyone in... and it's a known fact that all Sirens are drawn to the Vault in their dreams."_  
  
Ruby paused. "... Oh. I suppose you saw me with those satellite's you mentioned, huh?"  
  
_"They're pretty high resolution, yeah. Saw the tattoo's from miles away. Literally!"_ She answered with a somewhat forced cheerful tone.  
  
"... I wouldn't say the dream thing is a 'known' fact. I had to do a bunch of reading on it." Ruby added, clearly uncomfortable. She pulled a small headset from her pocket, put it on her ear, and quietly connected it to her scroll so the conversation could continue while keeping her hands free.  
  
_"I-um, have a lot of time on my hand to research this. Speaking of time, you're almost out of it. Bad guys coming into view on your six."_  
  
The Siren turned to the trench her ship had left. In the distance she could now see dark figures on the horizon. "Well, it looks like I get to give Crescent Rose's new mods a work out."  
  
_"Crescent Ro-? Oh, right. Hunters like to name their weapons."_  
  
Ruby easily hefted the heavy weapon and peered through the scope. Sure enough, there was a small hoard of Grimm steadily charging toward her position, clearly following the wreckage f her ship. There were the expected monsters, completely black bodies bearing white masks, and baleful yellow eyes. But it was their riders that drew one's eyes.  
  
Atop each Grimm were men and women hooting and hollering, the masks seared into the flesh of their faces bore a striking similarity to the beasts they rode. Their limbs longer, and in some unfortunate cases,  _twisted._  A black miasma surrounded their corrupted bodies, a remnant of their dead Aura. As Angel had said, there were indeed fourteen of the thin limbed Psycho's wielding their traditional buzz-saw axes riding Beowolves, seven helmeted gun toting Marauders riding alongside them, and towards the back were three huge Bruisers clinging to even bigger Ursa's.  
  
Ruby suppressed a wince. She always felt a  _little_ bad about having to kill Bandits. It wasn't  _their_  fault the Grimm decided they were good enough to fuse hellish white masks to their faces and make them into servants of evil.  
  
She sighed and remembered what her father told her as they proceeded at rapid pace to her position.  _Bandits aren't people, we save what's left of them by killing them. _Bandits aren't people, we save what's left of them by killing them._ Bandits aren't people, we save what's left of them by killing them._  
  
_["FOR BLOOD, LOOT, AND PONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN9sZumHT7A) _The lead Psycho yelled as they charged...  
  
... _directly_ into Crescent Rose's line of fire.  
  
The twin barrels of the Vladof mod spun with each shot the heavy rifle shot. Four of the Beowolves were the first to fall, one even crushing its Psycho rider to death under its weight. Two of the Marauders followed in their demise as Ruby relieved them of the top half of their skulls. Ruby re-prioritized back to the Beowolves and took out an additional three with sustained fire. Eventually, the weapon clicked empty as it's drum ran dry.  
  
The small hoard, undeterred by their losses, continued rushing forward. Ruby smiled.  _Pefect._  
  
The Beowolf riding Psychoes in all their predictable bloodthirst, were the first to close the distance between them and their prey.  
  
Three riders and their mounts died as Crescent Rose transformed into a  _gigantic scythe_  and cut them down like so much wheat in two slashes. Their bodies did not spray blood as one might expect from a baseline human, but a black oily substance that stank of rot and death.  
  
The following wave dismounted and ran to the side in hopes of flanking the young Huntress. When they descended upon her, they fully expected her to fall to their spinning buzz-axes, only to have her vanish in a shower of Rose petals. One of the Bandits was about to demand find her- (Or to comment on the baby skin teddy bear she had recently made. It's hard to tell with Bandits.) only to have Ruby appear instantly reappear behind her. The Siren took the opportunity to separate the Psycho from her head.  
  
The Bandits were caught off guard and practically tripped over themselves to be the first to kill their foe.  
  
Ruby waded into the fray, jumping, skipping, and dancing as the scythe chopping through heads and limbs like that one Tediore blender your mother got you, but were too nervous to tell her that you had a superior Atlas model.  
  
When the last Psycho fell, the Beowolves struck, moving much faster and striking much harder than their riders had, Ruby was forced not to just dodge but to block several attacks that jolted her from her arms all the way to her spine. She grunted as she flipped high into the air, used a Marauder's helmet as a springboard, and launched herself above two of the Beowolves and neatly scythed their heads off.  
  
Feeling somewhat overconfident in herself, she almost didn't notice the Psycho running at her until she heard the whirring sound of her buzz axe coming at her head.  
  
"I WANT TO BURN YOUR BABIES!" Screamed the Psycho as she brought her spinning axe down on the young Huntress.  
  
Ruby deftly blocked it with Crescent Rose. "I don't have babies!"  
  
The Psycho seemed taken aback. "Oh, sorry! Terribly presumptive of me! I WANT TO BURN YOUR UNUSED UTERUS!"  
  
Ruby responded by caving in her mask-fused skull with an Aura-enhanced punch.  
  
_"Unusually polite for a Bandit."_  Angel remarked.  
  
"Oh!" Ruby exclaimed as she cut a charging Beowolf vertically in half. "You're still on the line?"  
  
_"Um, yeah... I didn't know if I should have ended the call there, or..."_  
  
"Conversation with strangers is weird and hard." Ruby said with complete understanding.  
  
Angel sighed in relief.  _"Exactly... er, I'm not sure if you're already aware of this, or if I'm crossing a line by pointing this out..."_  
  
"I welcome useful feedback!" Ruby assured cheerfully as she kicked the legs out from under a Beowolf and speared the pointy pommel of Crescent Rose through the back of it's unarmored neck and out through it's eye.  
  
_"The Ursa's and the Bruisers. They've been circling you the whole fight. I don't know what they're waiting for."_  
  
Ruby frowned and cast her gaze to the edge of the skirmish as she continued to massacre Beowolves and Psychoes. The big Grimm were indeed circling the perimeter of the battle, most likely waiting for her to tire herself out on the small fry. The Siren growled adorably. She  _hated_  dealing with the smart ones. It meant she wouldn't get to  _play around_  anymore.  
  
Finishing a twirling dance of weed-whacker-esque death, Ruby suddenly noticed that there were no more of the buzz-saw wielding bandits their Beowolf mounts left.  
  
Of course, the Marauders took the opportunity to open fire on the Huntress now that there were no more of their allies in the way.  
  
Ruby squeaked as she was forced to use her speed to evade the gunfire.  
  
_"Er, I'd recommend getting more ammo, if you have any."_  Angel tentatively suggested.  
  
"Yeah," Ruby replied. "Probably should!"  
  
Launching out of the Marauder's line of fire in a stream of rose petals, Ruby made a beeline to where she had set her duffel bag down. She quickly yanked out a large clip with a 'Maliwan' logo printed on it with a small cartoon flame beside it. She ejected the Vladof drum and slammed the new one in just in time for the Maruader's to home in on her position and resume their assault. Ruby made an Aura-boosted hop out of the way, but it was not without it's cost...  
  
The duffel bag slipped out of her hands and was shot out of the air by sheer chance. She watched as a case containing several hundred chocolate chip cookies tumbled out of her duffel bag, spilling out and crumbling in the Bandit-blood soaked dust.  
  
"You absolute  _monsters!"_  She cried. "Those were supposed to last me for three days! I was going to  _ration_  them!"  
  
Letting loose a high pitched war cry, she converted Crescent Rose into its sniper rifle configuration and launched into the air. She fired on the Marauders twice, and two died as the flaming .50 caliber rounds collided into them. This led to the delightfully horrific effect of setting the Beowolves they were riding upon  _also_  on fire.  
  
Ruby landed in a roll and snapped a triple burst into a third Maruader and his mount. As they thrashed about in their death throws, Ruby saw an opportunity. She smirked. She'd  _always_  wanted to try this.  
  
"FOR THE COOKIES!" Ruby yelled, transforming the weapon into scythe mode and running directly at the Beowolves. Lining up her attack  _just right,_ she fell into a slide and decapitated not one, but  _two_ of the Grimm with a single stroke.  
  
_"... Ow."_  
  
"Oops! Sorry!" Ruby apologized sincerely as she used the resulting chaos to slaughter the Marauders and their mounts with terrifyingly effective slashes and cuts. "Kinda didn't think about shouting while I had my headset on!"  
  
_"It's alright. Do you have enough Aura left to deal with the big ones? Because I still have that escape route plotted. See, there's this old DAHL mining tunnel that leads to-"_  
  
"It's fine! While I am running a bit low, I have  _other_ gifts I can count on!" She smiled as the Bruiser and their Ursa  _finally_ decided to join the fight.  
  
"GONNA MEET YOUR MAKER!" The center Bandit cried.  
  
Ruby didn't respond, she merely focused on every single wisp of rose petal shaped Aura she had left behind on the battlefield. And as the blue tattoos on her body began to  _glow,_ every single one of the petals responded and flowed in a humongous stream to her outstretched hand. With a gesture, she sent the storm of spent Aura directly into the path of her large foes. Once they were fully engulfed, she squeezed her fist...  
  
And the rose petals  _exploded._  
  
The Ursas howled in outrage as they were badly burnt from the assault, and one of the Bruiser/Ursa pair was even outright  _killed._  
  
_"Oh... Cool. I guess I'll just... set you up with a Catch-a-Ride subscription while you finish."_  
  
"Sure thing! Thanks!" Ruby replied as she took the opportunity to rush forward and slash the hind legs off a wounded Ursa. As both it and it's Bruiser tumbled to the ground, she proceeded to take the beast's head off with an efficient downward slice.  
  
It's rider attempted to exact vengeance for his steed and fired a heavy shotgun at her, only to scream in frustration as she cartwheeled out of the way. While he reloaded, the  _other_ remaining Bruiser attempteed to get a bead on her with the heavy machine gun he carried. Ruby put a stop to  _that_ by lining up Crescent Rose and putting an incendiary round directly into his forehead. That left only one Bruiser and one Ursa...  
  
Speaking of which, Ruby readied Crescent Rose and turned to face the sound of heavy running footsteps closing in on her. Badly burnt, the last Bandit howled as he charged. To her surprise, the Bruiser's shotgun  _shifted_  and transformed into an axe. Ruby winced hard. He must have been a Huntsman once...  
  
She deftly sidestepped the Bandit... and groaned in sympathy as he tripped and fell into the sole surviving Ursa as it was gettng back into its feet. The chainsaw plunged into the monsters neck.  
  
"MAMA BEAR!  _NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ He cried as pulled out the chainsaw and whirled back in on Ruby.  
  
The Bruiser howled sorrow and charged once more. He brought his empty axe in with a heavy swing, meaning to cave his foe's head in. Instead, Crescent Rose came down, collided with his shoulder and just _pushed right through his torso and out his hip._ She sighed in both relief and disappointment, for the oversized Bandits had been the last.  
  
Ruby sidestepped the two halves of the now dead Bruiser, and continued her conversation on her scroll.  
  
"Wait. Angel? What's a 'Catch-a-Ride?'"  
  
Angel sighed.  _"I'll explain as you go, but your final destination will be to 'Grandma's House: The Bed and Breakfast.' I'll meet you there. I think I have a job offer for you, if you still want to look for the Vault."_  
  
Ruby shrugged as she picked up her damaged duffel bag. "To Grandma's House I go, then."  


~~~~~

OMAKE

~~~~~

 

 WEISS: [Having devoured the cake] Thank you... but, I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding. Internally.  
  
RUBY: Not to worry! I have insta-health!  
  
WEISS: [Eyes widening] Never mind! I can tough it out.  
  
RUBY: [Holding her down] Nonsense! It's no big! Just a syringe filled with nanomachine laced biogel that clones itself to match bones, blood, organ and muscle tissue, all the while forcefully repairing your system! You'll be back on your feet in no time!  
  
WEISS: [Panicking and struggling] Honestly, I'll be fi-  
  
RUBY: [Jabs needle DIRECTLY INTO WEISS'S CHEST]  
  
WEISS: [Silently screaming as her body is wracked with pain]  
  
RUBY: See? Good as new!  
  
WEISS: [For the first time since she was a child] Mommy...

**_~~~~~_ **

_Oh, and have some profile-y bits:_

_NAME: Ruby Rose_  
CLASS: Siren  
WEAPON: Crescent Rose (Sniper Rifle/Scythe)  
AGE: 18  
HEIGHT: Laughable  
WEIGHT: Throw-able  
SEMBLANCE: Class 5 speed, leaves behinds wisps of spent aura resembling rose petals  
SIREN POWERS: Able to utilize 'rose petal' Aura remnants as ablative shields, explosives, or harden them into lethal blades

_WANTED: ALIVE  
CRIME: Siren  
BOUNTY: $750,000,000,000.03_

_~~~~~_

_  
_

_AN: Decided to repost my work from Spacebattles on this fic onto here. Here's hoping folks like it just as much here as they did there!_

  
  
Next chapter: Surprise! Your family's company just got taken over by your enemies, you assets are frozen, and your stuck on a one way trip to a Hell planet! Happy Birthday, Weiss!


	2. White

**_~~~~~_ **

**_WHITE_ **

**_~~~~~_ **

  
Cradling her head in her hands, a young woman in a white and red combat dress groaned into her hands as the automated cargo hauler carried her through the stars. Her shoulder was encased in mechanical white plating, with glowing blue lines pulsing gently. And on her other side was an ornate rapier with a thick base resembling a revolver.  
  
As she brooded, her scroll began to ring. Raising her face from her hands, a hopeful look flitted across porcelain features marred only a thin scar over her eye. Maybe someone had made it out?  
  


**_WEISS SCHNEE as_ **

 

**_THE PENNILESS HEIRESS_ **

  
Accepting the call, she quickly demanded information. "Klein? Mother? Whitley? Did anyone else escape the atta-"  
  
Unfortunately, the caller that interrupted her was neither friend, nor family.  _"Heya, kiddo! Your pal, Handsome Jack, here! Don't bother answering back, I got you on mute!"_  
  
Weiss could only hold the phone to her ear in abject shock.  
  
 _"Now, you might be wondering why I just launched an all out assault on the SDC's homeworld, killed millions of your fellow citizens, and basically stole every single thing your family's built for the last two generations. Well, slugger, it all started when your dear old man_ lied to me."  
 _  
"Hrrm! Urgk!"_ Gurgled the voice of another man on the line before sounds of flesh beating flesh silenced him.  
  
 _"You dad says 'hi.' Or at least I think that was a 'hi.' Hard to tell since I, y'know, cut out his lying tongue. Old fashioned, I know. But I already_ have _severed facial hair from one of my enemies."  
_  
Weiss opened and closed her mouth, unable to even comprehend how to respond to that.  
  
 _"And maybe, just maybe, if your old man hadn't tried to screw me over by raising the Dust prices forty percent higher than what we agreed upon, none of this would have happened. Ah, no use crying over spilt milk. This works out better. The SDC Board of Directors even agree with me! Well, the ones I let live, anyway."  
_  
The young heiress dropped her face into her free hand.  
  
 _"Oh! And I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to worry about your bank balance anymore, because I had the SDC bank transfer all funds to my personal fund to build a diamond horse stable. Still haven't found your mother or your brother in this big ass place, though! But hey, I figure all I have to do to find your mom is look at the bottom of the nearest bottle. As for little Whitley... I figure once we have him I'll just toss him into the poorest orphanage I can find. Just for a giggle."  
_  
Weiss frowned at the confusing feelings that stirred in her. Concern? Resentment? Anger? Sadness? ... Relief?  
  
She came to the conclusion that she'd just shove those feelings deep down inside her and not reflect on them.  
 _  
"Now, I know you got your heart set on going to Atlas, probably banking on the history of good will your two companies had with each other before your daddy got greedy and ruined everything, and maybe fling yourself at your sisters feet and leech off her success. But that's not gonna happen. 'Cause while I've been serenading you with the soothing tone of my voice, a Hyperion assault freighter has been closing in on your ship."  
_  
The ship jolted as something much larger clamped on to it. Weiss jumped to her feet, weapon at the ready. The scroll strained as she gripped it tighter, and continued to listen to the monologue.  
  
 _"Here's the thing, Muffin. Your Daddy, in addition to trying to rip me off, apparently made a little drone with a whole bunch of neat features... that he had some hackers steal from Hyperion data banks. And during the whole liberation of the SDC- we're still calling it a liberation, right?"_  A small voice in the background of the call answered in the affirmative.  _"Right. When we 'liberated' your planet, we came across some footage of you here in this house. We_ saw  _you grab it. We know you have it, Sweetness."_  
  
Weiss's eyes darted to the mechanical pauldron on her shoulder.  
  
 _"I'm gonna give you a choice, Pumpkin. Hand over the drone and die a quick clean death, or we_ take  _the drone and you die messy. Personally, I don't think you have a last stand in you, seeing as how you ran away as soon as your planet's capital city fell from all the orbital bombarding I smacked it with. Looks like all the 'heroism' your Grandpa had must have all went to big sis, huh?"_  
  
Weiss's hands clenched into fists.  
  
 _"Now, I know this is a big decision. But if it makes it easier, just know you're helping the real hero build a better futu- oh, what now?"_  
  
Another voice, urgent and fearful, interrupted Jack.  
  
 _"... The hell do you_ mean _'the 4N631 satellite is missing?' And please bear in mind that I routinely kill for far, far less."  
_  
More fearful murmuring, followed by a viscious snarl from Jack and the sound of a hand canon firing.  
  
 _"Okay!"_ Jack inhaled sharply.  _"I gotta take this. Be seeing your corpse soon, Princess. Say 'hi' to the Loader bots for me. See ya!"_  
  
The line cut- not that it did anything to make Weiss feel better. For she could now see large chunks on the hull that were now being cut by high powered lasers.  
  
Her mind began to race. It was  _very_ likely that the cargo vessel was already disabled, so there was no escape staying here... so that left using the attackers ship. She sighed as she popped open her sword and began to load several different types of elemental rounds. [This was going to be... _annoying._](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4FLi1DFYSc)  
  
The first of the blocky yellow and white machines descended as the hull gave way. Landing in a crouch, it never stood a chance as Weiss created a green glyph that gushed a stream of foul smelling liquid upon it. The GUN Loader gave a monotone cry as the corrosive acid ate through its armor. As it jerked about, trying to dislodge as much of the gunk as it could, Weiss darted forward and stabbed past its single eye, and deep into its central processor.  
  
As the machine died, Weiss withdrew her blade and hopped backward as three additional GUN Loaders fell from the ceiling.  
  
The Heiress danced backward, triggered her weapon, and a shower of large icicles erupted from the glyph that appeared at the tip of the blade.  
  
The Loaders were rendered nonfunctional as the icy spears impaled their vital mechanisms. "OW." They stated their custom emotionless tone as they perished.  
  
Weiss took this opportunity to use an Aura assisted jump  _through_ the hole the machines had breached from. She huffed as she landed over the still hot rim the hole. Two additional GUN Loaders were apparently waiting to drop in as they spotted her. The first actually had time to fire a few rounds into her Aura as she repeated the same maneuver as before, and speared the machine through the eye and into its brain.  
  
Weiss spun out the way as the other robot tried to smoosh her against the bulkhead. She proceeded to counter its attack with a precise cut, and severed the arm with the gun attached. The Loader attempted to retaliate, but she was already on the move and twirled behind it as it came in swinging with its remaining arm.  
  
The green glyph once again appeared as she showered the corporate enforcer drone with acid at  _point blank._  
  
With no enemies in sight, Weiss took a moment to breathe and berate herself. She had let a  _basic Loader_  hit her. Her sister must  _never_ find out about this, otherwise she would  _disown her.  
_  
She sighed as she scanned her surroundings. She was in a large cargo bay with six unoccupied recharge docks for Loaders... and eight that were  _not_ empty.  
  
Weiss snapped into a combat stance as three EXP Loaders, three HOT Loaders, and two BUL Loaders stirred to life. She hummed to herself in consideration. Now was as good a time to test the drone as any. Lifting the arm with the pauldron attached, she shouted out one of the few command phrases she knew.  
  
 _"Kalterwind, attacke!"_  
  
The pauldron unfolded into a four winged insectoid robot the size a cat, and proceeded to launch itself at the 'face' of the nearest BUL Loader. The robot screamed in simulated agony as Kalterwind's laser stinger sliced the plates apart. After a moment, the machine fell dead to the floor, and the drone scanned for its next target. It selected the other BUL Loader... which decided now was a good time to transform into 'bulldozer' mode and put some distance between them. Kalterwind  _pursued._  
  
Meanwhile, Weiss did not stand idle.  
  
Summoning the green glyph again, she prioritized taking out the EXP Loaders while moving steadily backward out the the HOT Loaders range. The black and yellow striped Loaders attempted to jog into towards Weiss as their overloaded power cores popped out of their heads and began to hum ominously. Weiss proceeded to make it rain corrosive acid upon all three. She smiled in satisfaction as they detonated quite safely away from her. Unfortunately the HOT Loaders took this opportunity to charge.  
  
She was about to repeat what she had to done to the previous three robots, when the hidden trigger in her blade clicked empty. The corrosive round had been  _spent._ Backing up into a bulkhead, Weiss's eyes widened as she saw their barrels light up with flame.  
  
 _"Kalterwind! Schild!"_  She shouted with far less dignity then she would have preferred.  
  
The drone, in the middle of ruthlessly murdering the remaining BUL Loader, launched itself at rapid speed to its owner. Closing the distance between them, it halted directly over her head and began to emit a shimmering blue dome over the both of them. The HOT Loaders flames collided against the shield with no effect.  
  
Weiss took this time to eject the spent round and insert a fresh one. She  _tsked_  in annoyance as she found she only had one left. "Should probably conserve this." She whispered to herself.  
  
Kalterwind began to emit a shrill beeping sound to signify that the shield was nearing the end of its sustainable 'up time.' Fortunately, the HOT Loaders flamethrowers stopped so they could go into their automatic cooldown.  _Unfortunately,_  that left them their strong, human-squishing Loader arms within crushing radius.  
  
Weiss quickly formulated a plan. Forming a black glyph beneath her feet, she flung herself high into the air over their swinging arms as the shield collapsed. Kalterwind followed suit, and went back to her shoulder in pauldron mode.  
  
Mixing it up a little, she brought forth a blue glyph and froze their legs to the ground. As they attempted to wiggle free, Weiss breathed in deep. This would require  _precision.  
_  
She poked the air three times with her weapon, leaving a red glyph hovering over each point. She narrowed her eyes and flicked her sword. Three fireballs soared out like little comets...  _directly_ into the fuel tanks of the HOT Loaders flamethrowers.  
  
Detonating with the dignity of a exploding toilet, the last of the Loaders died.  
  
Sheathing her blade, Weiss sighed in relief. Even for a ship as small as this one was, this was a pleasantly undermanned vessel. Handsome Jack must not have thought much at all of her combat capability, otherwise he would have included something with heavier ordnance than these Loaders had been equipped with!  
  
And right on cue, red lights began to flash over a large door as alarms sounded to alert all who might be in the Loader bay. Weiss cursed her luck as she unsheathed her weapon and watched the huge doors slide apart.  
  
And not a moment too soon, for before her, waiting its storage dock, lay an oversized and overarmed [KLL Loader.](http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Badass_Loader)  
  
It took a Weiss a moment to gather herself as she watched the machine unfold itself into a standing position. She barely came up to the damned thing's  _knees._  
  
"This is  _ridiculously unfair."_  She growled to herself as she ejected the fire Dust and loaded new rounds labeled TORGUE into the blade. "Told myself I'd never stoop low enough to use these-"  
  
Her complaint was interrupted as the KLL Loader opened fire with it's six gun-arms.  
  
 _"Kalterwind! FLIEGEN!"_ She cried as she ran desperately out of the line of fire.  
  
The drone transformed and rotated itself onto its mistress's back. Resembling a small backpack, four wings of light erupted from it and sent Weiss into the air.  
  
Now  _flying,_  the huntress desperately fired the new rounds. Orange glyphs, resembling a cartoon explosion effect, rained somewhat slower fireballs upon the KLL Loaders right arm joint. Exploding with the force of grenades, they successfully dismembered the arm and caused the three guns to fall to the ground. Almost as if it was angry, the Loader responded by charging the 'head' atop its shoulder with power.  
  
 _"SCHILD!"_ Weiss shouted as she summoned a thick ice wall between herself and the Loader.  
  
Landing as the drone detached from her back and converted to shield mode, Weiss began to form a  _new_ plan. The ice wall started to crumble as the KLL Loader fired a powerful arc of lighting from its eye.  
  
Taking what little time she had, Weiss focused her Aura into the palm of her hand and formed a tiny white glyph. As it spun, a tiny white knight appeared in her hand. Smirking, Weiss grasped the little fellow and looked to the crumbling wall.  _"Fliegen!"_  She ordered.  
  
Once again converting into flightpack mode, Kalterwind sent Weiss high into the air.  
  
Soaring over the KLL Loader, she proceeded to stagger the giant death machine with more TORGUE rounds. The KLL Loader stumbled about as Weiss landed directly unto it's shoulder and shoved the tiny Knight right into the gaping hole where its arm had been. She kicked off back into the air as the Loader could swat her into paste.  
  
Flying clear of its reach, Weiss's expression was decisively  _smug._  
  
The KLL Loader's frame suddenly rang with the sound of a tiny knight wreaking as much havoc as it could within the inner mechanisms. The great machine fell to its knees as it jerked to and fro.  
  
Not wasting the chance, Weiss shouted;  _"Kalterwind! ATTACKE!"_  
  
The drone once again detached from her and flew directly into the KLL Loader's face and... did  _gruesomely_ unholy things to it.  
  
Weiss landed before the robot, ran into a somersault, kicked off the remaining gun arm, and landed on the Loaders back. (As well as valiantly ignoring the tearing of metal and circuitry her drone was causing. Robot on robot violence  _should not_ look like something out of a slasher movie.) She held a hand over what she  _hoped_  was the right spot, and willed the knight to create an opening. Sure enough, the little guy obliged and punctured a small hole with his sword. The Huntress quickly dismissed him back within her soulspace.  
  
Using her Aura to enhance her strength as much as it could, Weiss drove her blade deep within the small opening and severed the cords connecting the KLL Loaders power core. The machine slumped to the ground in defeat.  
  
Weiss sighed explosively. This had gone on  _long enough._ She hopped off the Loader and walked to a doorway that had been to the side of the KLL Loader's dock and marched through it as it swung open automatically. Kalterwind, sensing the  _fun_ was over, returned to her shoulder.  
  
Going forwards a ways, she followed the instructions painted on the wall to the front of the ship. Soon enough she found her destination as the doors gave way.  
  
Two pilots in Hyperion uniforms awaited in the cockpit. "STOP IN THE NAME OF JACK!" One shouted in panic.  
  
Weiss responded by deploying icy spears into their bodies. She calmly walked past their dying bodies and to the controls. Surely Hyperion didn't make anything  _too_  complicated for its lackluster employees to opera-  
  
Her slowly improving mood came crashing down as the monitors above the controls declared:  
  
 ** _CONTROLS LOCKED  
  
DESTINATION: HELIOS ONE_**  
  
She screamed in frustration and pounded her slender fists upon the screen. She spun away in a snarl.  
  
"Okay, universe!" Weiss shouted. "Here's my birthday wish! Just once for today-  _just for once-_  LET SOMETHING GO RIGHT, DAMMIT!"  
  
A soft ding alerted her back to the monitors. What she saw turned her anger to  _confusion._  
  
 ** _SYSTEM ALERT  
  
4N631 AUTHORIZATION ACCEPTED  
  
CHANGING COURSE TO... PANDORA [Purple Level Threat Encounter Equipment recommended]  
  
Message!  
  
TO: Weiss Schnee  
FROM: Angel  
  
You're lucky my feelers in Jack's network detected your situation.  
  
I can help you, but I need your help in return. I'm putting together a team to find Pandora's Vault. Maybe whatever is inside can help you get back on top, maybe not. Either way, Pandora's as good a place as any for you to disappear with Handsome Jack out there.  
  
But if you want the CHANCE to change your life for the better... come meet me at Grandma's House: The Bed and Breakfast.  
  
I'll be diverting your ship's path to a new friend of mine. She can take you there.  
  
We can hash out terms when you arrive.  
  
-Your (hopefully) new friend, Angel.  
  
[END MESSAGE]_**  
  
"... Fine." Weiss mumbled as she slumped down into the pilot's chair and watched as the stars flew past. "I'm not even going to question this. I give up."  
  
She wasn't sure that going to Pandora was  _anyone's_ idea of a good decision, but maybe once she was there she could finally hit rock bottom.  _Then_ she could climb her way back to a better life.  
  
Right?  
  
~~~~~  
  
After landing the ship in one of the many deserts of Pandora, Weiss walked away from the vessel and made her way towards a billboard laying beside a cracked road. The heat was already beyond what she could reasonably tolerate, but she would endure _because she was a Schnee, dammit._  And Schnee's  _did not give in_ to hellish temperatures over seventy degrees! (No matter how  _badly_  they wanted to.)  
  
She walked past the dilapidated billboard and looking for this 'friend' she was supposed to rendezvous with. Unfortunately, she hadn't been paying attention beyond the rush of the desert wind,  _and_ she hadn't been looking in the right direction.  
  
Otherwise, she would have heard the engine of an oncoming car.  
  
Otherwise, she would have noticed an obnoxiously red Runner breaking hard before her.  
  
Otherwise, Ruby Rose would not have ' _somewhat' run over her future best friend._  
  
Weiss crashed to the ground as the Runner stopped. She could only distantly recognize the distinctive blue tattoo's of the driver as she jumped out of the car.  
  
"Oh, my gosh! Are you alright?!" The Siren yelped in panic as yanked off her cloak, bundled it into a make-shift cushion, and gently placed it underneath Weiss's head. "I'm so,  _so_ sorry! I didn't see you! You just came right out from behind that sign as I was coming in and-  _sorry!"_  
  
Weiss opened and closed her mouth a few times before her dazed mind settled on an answer. "Today's my birthday..."  
  
The young woman kneeling before her was silent for a moment, then quickly jogged back into the runner and pulled something out of a duffel bag. Making her way hastily back to Weiss's prone form, she offered the heiress a clear plastic container containing a slice of strawberry cake with vanilla frosting. "Happy birthday! It's a couple days old and it got bounced around in its box, but it's still good! I promise! My name's Ruby, by the way..."  
  
It was everything Weiss could do not to break down and cry right then and there.  
  
 _~~~~~_  
  
A/N: Not as action heavy as the last one, I know, but I kind of wanted to focus more on Weiss' backstory for this one...... And I wanted to write Jack lines.  
  
~~~~~  
  
NAME: WEISS SCHNEE  
CLASS: High  
WEAPON: Myrtenaster  
AGE: 19  
HEIGHT: Slightly more than laughable  
WEIGHT: Highly pushable  
SEMBLANCE: Summoning  
EQUIPMENT: Cutting edge support drone with flight, shielding, and offensive capabilities  
  
WANTED: DEAD  
CRIME: Defying a duly appointed Hyperion Death Squad  
BOUNTY: $50 and a high five from a Handsome Jack doppelganger  
  
~~~~~  
  
NEXT TRAILER/CHAPTER: Savage Land Blake?


	3. Black

 

 

 

**_~~~~~_ **

**BLACK**

**~~~~~**

  
In the dark jungle of a deadly island, a fat scythid the size of a pony died as a razor sharp black blade plunged through it's head and down to it's tail. With a scream and a shudder, the beast died. Holding the bloody machete, was a black-haired cat-faunus. And, in  _other_ hand was a pistol with a folded blade atop it, and a long black ribbon wrapped around her arm. As the morning sunlight shone upon her, it revealed she was wearing fashionable black combat boots, several pouches strapped to her arms and legs, and...  
  
... A very small black bikini with white trim.  
  
I can explain.  
  
Flicking the blood off the machete, the girl sighed as holstered her weapons.

 

 

 

**_BLAKE BELLADONNA as_ **

**_THE FORSAKEN NINJA_ **

  
"Belladonna Log," She said into an ECHO unit withdrawn from one of her pouches. "I have, at long last, slaughtered the last of the scythids that destroyed my clothes. Well, all but  _two_ of my outfits. There was the nice expensive swimsuit Ilia got me, and the...  _outfit_ Adam gave me for my eighteenth birthday. Seeing how the bikini covers  _slightly_ more, I chose Ilia's while keeping the boots from Adam's. Side note: the other outfit was burned. Mysteriously." She sighed as she began to walk away from the dead slug monster. "This vengeance feels somewhat hollow, and not... as warm and fulfilling as I had hoped it would be. I will have to reflect on this so it doesn't repeat when I eventually mount Adam's head on spike."  
  
Brushing past the foliage, she came to a gated fence that she leapt over with ease, and continued her monologue.  
  
"As it is now approaching noon, I shall now exposit as to how I came to this abandoned island DAHL facility, as is my custom." Walking on a paved sidewalk, she made her way to a large series of buildings with corporate logos plastered all over the walls. "It all began when my  _ex-_ boyfriend, Adam Taurus, decided that everyone should try on these special Grimm-like masks that he got from... somewhere. (Side note: Find Adam's supplier and kill them all and burn their facility to the ground.) According to him, these masks would enhance our aura, augment our senses, boost our semblances, and make us completely undetectable by Grimm. Oh, and they  _made everyone go crazy._  
  
"And I don't mean, 'oh, she's so ca-razy' crazy, I mean some of the White Fang full-on  _turned into cannibals._  Well, according to Adam it's not technically cannibalism when faunus are a different species from humanity. And  _I_  argued, 'THAT'S FUCKING SEMANTICS, ADAM! SCORPINA IS CHEWING ON A HUMAN HAND! WHAT ARE YOU?! A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH?!'  
  
"And that was how we broke up. He had the rest of the White Fang troops dogpile me after that. Told me he'd leave me somewhere where I could 'think about what I said.' That somewhere turned out to be  _Pandora._ A world that makes the mythological land of Australia look positively habitable. Not only that, but an  _abandoned island on Pandora with no escape._ Because that's what a sane person does when his girlfriend breaks up with him.  
  
"Now, the only company I have is the  _ridiculously lethal_ Pandoran wildlife, and the dead bodies of the DAHL workers who were stationed here. Hey, Phil." Blake waved to a human skeleton adorned in a weathered lab technician's uniform lying to the side of the path.  
  
"Never answers back. No wonder Becky's cheating on him." Blake snorted.  
  
"Positive things to focus on while I try to sleep in the most secure supply closet in the building: One, there are no Grimm here. Most likely due to the fact that I'm the only one here, and they tend to focus on highly populated area's. Kind of makes me getting my Huntress license kind of pointless, but less problems, less stress.  
  
"Two, this place still has power, running water, and fully stocked food stores. I could survive here for a decade without worrying about it.  
  
"Three... (Side note: find a 'three.')  
  
"Things I should  _not_ focus on in the middle of the night that will cause me to cry myself to sleep: One, the wildlife on this island is everything I'd heard about Pandora. There are no herbivores on this planet. Even some of the damn  _plants_  are carnivorous. Keeping them at bay is a constant challenge. Some are even more nightmarish and fearsome than even  _Grimm._ Well... standard ones anyway.  
  
"Two, every single piece of equipment in this horrible, miserable island that still functions...  _needs DAHL clearance to use!_  I'm not technologically gifted! The only things I hack are with my machete! I have no way to reach out to my loved ones or friends that I need a lift out of this place!  
  
"Three! All the automated defenses- turrets, robots, electric fences- have all been disabled by the wildlife who have made it their mission to destroy anything in this place! Probably explains all the DEAD PEOPLE I keep finding!  
  
"Four. Dwindling sanity. Reflecting on  _that-_  never.  
  
"Five, if I ever get back to civilization, I'm gonna have to admit to my parents that they were  _right_ about Adam. Ugh.  
  
"Six, there's not even any edible goddamn fish, I'm so angry.  
  
"Seven... I'm worried about my only friend left in the White Fang. I'm not sure if Ilia got wind of the what was going on with the masks, or if she had one  _put on her._ All I can hope is she got out and is safe and sound somewhere. Oh, and that reminds me...  
  
"Eight. The masks. They're entirely to much like the masks Grimm put on Bandits for it to be coincidence. There are key differences, though. Bandits can't use aura, and they're not much for taking orders. The White Fang  _can._ God, I hope Adam doesn't have an unlimited supply of those things. If it gets out that the Fang is turning into crazed super killers, the corporations just might cooperate enough that they can come down on ALL faunus."  
  
Blake finally came to the central building, and jumped through an already broken window. Passing by a series of computer banks with spinning DAHL logo's on their monitors, she began to wrap up her log.  
  
"And now, I shall engage in my daily ritual of staring at the empty wall for an hour as my mind slowly unravels as I come to terms that no one will ever find me in this godforsaken place."  
  
_"Um, hello? Is anyone using this facility? Are you okay?"_ Came a woman's voice from a monitor, as she found Blake in this godforsaken place.  
  
Blake stopped and went still for all of five seconds. Then her boots  _screeched_ as she turned sharply and  _ran_  back to the computer banks. She saw two blue eyes of a pale woman staring back at her.  
  
"HI! HELLO!" Blake yelled in panic. "I'VE BEEN TRAPPED HERE FOR TWO YEARS, PLEASE HELP ME!"  
  
When Angel responded, there was hesitation in her voice.  _"You... survived two years on_ Screaming Death island?"  
  
Blake's ears flattened. "Screaming what now?"  
  
_"It's what the local's renamed the place after all the DAHL personnel were eaten by the wildlife."_  
  
"... Fitting." Blake took a calming breath. "I'm Blake, I'm a... Huntress." She said honestly. "I crashed here." She fibbed.  
  
_"I'm Angel,"_  The eyes said gently.  _"And I would love to help."_  
  
It took everything Blake had not to scream, laugh, and cry for joy.  _"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou-"_  
  
_"Er, before that, can I ask if you've seen memory drives labeled Project Wonderstorm?"_ Angel asked hopefully.  
  
Blake fished out a drive out of one of her pouches. It was significantly scratched and dented. "I found it in my first few months here. Looked important so I held on to it."  
  
Angel's eyebrow quirked.  _"Oof, that looks like it's seen better days. Better get that in person if I want to get any information off it."_ There was a pause.  _"... Huh. This actually works out perfectly. You said you were a huntress? How do you feel about a little Vault hunting?"_  
  
Blake's ears flickered. "Um, not to be rude, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I would very much like to leave Pandora. Completely. Forever. For all time."  
  
_"Completely understandable,"_ Angel soothed.  _"But you should know, there is no available FTL ships on Pandora. When DAHL pulled out, they took all those ships with them. The only FTL ships that come by here either drop off travelers or shipments to people who can afford off-world delivery. And even then, they never leave orbit- only using shuttles and drones to interact with the surface."_  
  
A look of horror dawned on Blake's face. "S-so there's no way out?!"  
  
_"Sometimes people who can afford it can call an interstellar travel agency to pick them up and leave the system. But that takes money. A LOT of money. Cash that you don't really have right now."_  
  
Blake slumped to to the ground in defeat.  
  
_"Look, I'll make you a deal. You help me get to the Vault, and I will do everything in my power to get us and few others off this rock. Promise."_  
  
"Okay." Blake inhaled deeply. "Deal. Now how do I get out of here?"  
  
Angel's eyes looked hesitant.  _"... Ever try an orbital bounce?"_  
  
Blake's eye twitched. "Isn't that where a tractor beam in space picks up a pod, drags it into orbit, and launches it somewhere else on the planet?"  
  
_"Yep."_  
  
"... Wouldn't any satellites in orbit capable of that be long since abandoned by everyone, and in disrepair?  
  
_"Yep."_  
  
"Ever done this before?"  
  
_"Nope."_  
  
Blake dragged her hands across her face. "Screw it, I'm out of options. Let's do this."  
  
_"First, I'm gonna need you to unlock the bay doors for the cargo pod."_  
  
"Can't." Blake sighed. "Almost every system I could hope to use in this place requires restricted access."  
  
_"Ah,"_ Angel replied.  _"Got your IHA ID on you?"_  
  
Blake rummage through her rucksack and retrieved a plastic card with her face and information printed on it. She held it in front of the monitor's camera.  
  
_"Wait one moment. Executing Phase Shift."_  
  
The screen's feed suddenly became incredibly distorted and briefly had alien-looking script run across. The camera emitted a bright blue light over the ID card, which made it  _tingle_  in Blake's hand. After a moment it was over, and the screen returned to normal.  
  
_"There you go!"_  Angel said happily.  _"You now have complete access to this facility, Administrator Blake... Belladonna?"_  
  
Blake sighed wearily. "Yes. Of  _those_  Belladonna's. Long story, not enough incentive to tell it." Remembering her  _manners,_  she quickly followed with, "Thank you for this."  
  
_"Okay, once you get those bay doors open, the satellite we're going to be using for this should be in range in about... ooh! Nine minutes! Lucky!"_  
  
"Awesome." Blake smiled, feeling as if she was filled with hope at long last. Then the crushing weight of reality slapped it out of her as a thought crossed her mind. "Wait. The bay doors. The big doors in the ground in the courtyard. The big doors that will most likely cause a ton of noise and vibration. Vibration and noise that will startle and anger t he wildlife."  
  
_"... Oh."_  
  
_"Fuck."_  Blake cursed. "I'll just... I'll just have to deal with them as it comes. Line up the satellite, I'll be on the pod when it takes off."  
  
_"Okay, calculating trajectories."_ And, as an afterthought, she added,  _"Be seeing you soon, Blake."_  
  
"You will. That's a  _promise."_ She swore to Angel as here eyes disappeared from the monitor.  
  
She inhaled deeply, then ran to the window, jumped out of it, and hurried to the huge bay doors embedded into the ground. She came to a small terminal built into a signpost.  
  
"Time to see if I hallucinated that conversation or not..." Blake mumbled.  
  
She swiped her license over the machine and was  _absolutely delighted_ when the screen unlocked, showing a new display. She immediately hit the large OPEN button in huge green letters.  
  
There was a tense moment, and then the doors began to retract. They  _screeched_ and rumbled as their un-oiled joints and gears slid them apart. The  _ground_ shook as the rectangular cargo pod began to ascend on an elevator. Blake  _cursed_ as she realized that it was even louder than she had feared it was going to be. She quickly hopped onto the rising floor, and hit the door control to open the pod- effectively making sure it was ready once it was time.  
  
She turned around, already knowing what she was about to see. An entire skag pack- horrible scaled creatures with back spines and vertically aligned mouths- jumping over the walls. Crab worms- basically giant crabs with snake-like lower bodies- burst from the ground. Horrible slug-like scythids pushing through gaps in the facilities outer fence. And finally, a flock of rakk's- bat-like monsters with suckers for mouths- circled overhead.  
  
Her eyes narrowed as she watched the converging wildlife closing in on her position. She snatched the ECHO unit out of her bag and held it to her face.  
  
"Belladonna Final Log. I will either leave this gods-forsaken island,  _or I shall kill everything on it._ There will be  _no in-between._ The cargo pod is ready. The satellite's tractor beam is locking onto it's position. And I am so  _beyond done_  with this place. Well... all right, it wan't  _all_ bad. This island has taught me that instead of running away from them, it is better to face your problems head on. And murder them with your pistol-whip-machete. Because half measures are for dead people." Unsheathing her weapon, she brought the tip of her sword against the ECHO unit's screen. "Due to how little I wish to address how my sanity has been eroded by this island, I have decided to destroy you, ECHO log. None can know of my secret fish thoughts. Thank you and farewell."  
  
She plunged the blade through the unit, and directly into the memory core. With a twist, it was ruined beyond all repair.  
  
She looked toward the monsters. It appeared they were circling her or keeping their distance, either because they felt she was no easy prey, or because they were all feeling cautious with competing predators about. Blake took the opportunity to fetch a black device out of her bag, and attached it to her left arm. "Hope this still works..." She mumbled.  
  
She steeled her nerves, and focused on how much she  _hated this island and everything on it._  
  
Blake inhaled deeply, and quietly gave her guests a message she knew they'd never understand.  
  
"A scorched earth response would be my pick on how to deal with all of you, but until my ride's ready to go, I'll have to do my best to come up with something...  _[almost as satisfying."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mua0oM8WCz4) _With a click on the device, Blake  _vanished_ from sight.  
  
As of the skags looked about in confusion, and then Blake appeared out of thin air and took it's head with a swipe of her blades. It's pack-mates screamed in outrage and began to lob globules of acidic barf-shit (don't ask) at her. Blake deftly dodged and flipped away, allowing a good chunk of the projectiles to splash among the beasts, burning their hides and causing them to shriek in agony. Blake took advantage of this chaos, dived back in and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed,  _and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, AND STABBED, AND STABBED, _AND STABBED-__ and, oh hey. All the skags were dead now.  
  
She barely had a moment to gather herself before a crab worm launched itself from the ground at her. For a moment, it looked like it had collided with her, only to reveal it had moved through some kind of  _image_ of her. Before it could reorient itself, the real Blake appeared at it's side, jammed her gun into one of it's many eyes, and unloaded a round into it's brain.  
  
Taking an offensive stance, she leapt in between the remaining crab worms and fired shots into their plates. Not to do much damage, but to get their  _attention._ She led the furious beasts on a merry chase... directly into the scythids that had been  _slowly_ making their way into the fray. She took her weapons- Gambol Shroud- and  _cut_ and  _swiped_ into scythid flesh as she ran past. As their blood spilled onto the ground, she hoped it would have the desired effect. She glanced back and smiled. The crab worms had decided to focus on the far easier prey that the scythids represented rather than pursue her.  
  
Her feeling of victory was short lived as a  _goddamn-shit-born-motherfucking-bastard-from-hell_ rakk smacked into her face, knocking her to the ground.  
  
Instinctively, she swiped at the air above her with her machete. She was quickly rewarded as it's blade sank into the flesh of two separate rakk's, killing them both. Back flipping back onto her feet, she readied herself to ground the flying  _assholes._  
  
Another trio of rakk's dived toward her. This time, she sidestepped the leader and grabbed onto it's neck, and let her self be carried off the ground. Once it had pulled her high up into the air, and up to the rest of it's flock, Blake grinned in savage satisfaction. With one smooth motion, she disemboweled the creature with her gun-blade.  
  
Hopping away from it's falling body, Blake pushed away from it and into the  _next_ rakk that needed killing. Hacking that one apart, she launched herself to  _another_  and repeated the process. She did this again, and again, and again.  
  
This went on for some time.  
  
Finally, she came to the rakk that had initially knocked her into the ground. She took dark glee as she landed onto it's back, reached over, and  _plunged_ Gambol Shroud's katana into it's belly. Kicking off, she launched into mourning breeze.  
  
She looked about as she realized she had killed had, in fact, been the last of the rakks. While  _very high_  in the air. Blake now came to the conclusion that it was time to formulate a landing strategy.  
  
Descending quickly, she whipped out her blade-gun-ribbon... thing (it's a weird weapon to describe, okay?) and snagged it onto a flag pole bearing a weathered DAHl flag. Swinging herself around it enough to defuse her momentum, she untangled Gambol Shroud in mid-air and landed back in the courtyard.  
  
Because huntresses can do that. Shut up.  
  
She looked about and saw the remaining crab worms and scythids were still at war with each other. Deciding that she had wasted enough time, she left them to their Darwin-flavored violence.  
  
Blake ran hard as she could back to the pod, and closed the doors behind her. For a long thirty seconds, there was nothing, but then... it began to  _rise._  
  
The young huntress cackled with the delight of a madwoman. Spinning and dancing as she was finally  _free._  
  
Although, Blake did enough presence of mind left to flip the double bird at the pods view-port as the vehicle was pulled away from the island.  
  
"Now! For my next trick! Getting out of this  _system!"_ She exclaimed as the laughter died down. "Which will probably only take... a gigantic... sum of money... that I'll probably have to build up over the course of years..." Her face lit up again. "Maybe I can just call Mom and Dad! They...!" Her face fell. "They're... probably being monitored by  _Adam._ If he hasn't... dealt with them, that is..."  
  
She felt dread spread throughout her body.  
  
"Oh, cool. I can still depress myself."

 

~~~~~

OMAKE

~~~~~

 

BLAKE: So... just wondering why I haven't descended from orbit yet.  
  
ANGEL: Right. About that...  
  
BLAKE: ... I'm about to be murderously angry, aren't I?  
  
ANGEL: It's the landing thrusters. They're not responding.  
  
BLAKE: ...  
  
ANGEL: Blake?  
  
BLAKE: Sorry, I just flashed white hot with rage and despair. Anything we can do?  
  
ANGEL: Working on a solution right now! I didn't haul you up there just to strand you! Promise! I got my best people on it!  
  
~~~~~  
  
ANGEL: So, hey ladies! I got NO ships in orbit I can call, and I got a new friend up there stuck in a cargo pod. Do YOU know anyone we can call to help her out?  
  
WEISS: What you see is what I have on me. And I doupt the ship I came in on is still serviceable.  
  
RUBY: Weeeeelllllll, I  _can_  call someone if you can boost my scroll signal... but, she's gonna be  _super_ cranky about having her vacation interrupted...

  
_~~~~~_  
  
A/N: Okay, this... took entirely longer than I was planning. One reason is I've never really bonded with the idea of Blake's character as much as the others. (As much sense as that makes?) And the fact I wanted her to be the somewhat manic Tannis-esque character of the Boop!RWBY team. And I was busy with GUNS AND SPACE MAGIC. And there was work. (So, so much work.) And I have the attention span of a Labrador puppy.  
  
And, okay, I know the fight wasn't as cool as the last two were, but I just wanted to be DONE with this one. Y'know?  
  
But now! We've finally moved past this, and I can start on the YELLOW chapter!  
  
Whoooooooooo wants Hawaiian T-shirt Yang getting her vacation interrupted?!  
  
Now, to plan, and to look up those Borderlands 3 leaks...  
  
Oh, and the stats for Blake:  
  
_NAME: Blake Belladonna_  
_CLASS: Cat Ninja_  
_WEAPON: Gambol Shroud_  
_AGE: 19_  
_HEIGHT: Tall drink of water_  
_WEIGHT: Super model_  
_SEMBLANCE: Semi-solid clones_  
_EQUIPMENT: Invisibility cloak_  
  
_WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE_  
_CRIME: Terrorism group affiliation {See White Fang}_  
_BOUNTY: $50,000,000_


	4. Yellow

**_~~~~~_ **

**_YELLOW_ **

**_~~~~~_ **

  
In the morning mist of Paradise Nine, a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair slumbered on top of a statue of a oversized bronze horse. She wore a loud, open, blue Hawaiian t-sirt with yellow lilies, a black tube top, and neon yellow short-shorts. Completing the look, she was tattooed with an elaborate golden dragon that  _shimmered_  in the faint morning light that began with being 'wrapped' up her left leg, twice around her waist, and leading up her back and around her left arm with it's head lying at her wrist. She snored gently until the scroll in her shirt pocket began to vibrate incessantly. Groaning, she reached into her shirt, and pulled the device out- which unbalanced her enough to dislodge her from the statue and onto the damp grass, and two leather-clad boots.  
  
"Oh, hey. So that's where my shoes went." She mumbled, taking a moment to stand up and  _stretch_  before blearily opening her bright purple eyes to check her scroll.  
  


**_YANG XIAO LONG as..._ **

 

**_THE GOLDEN DRAGON_ **

  
Quirking a brow at the name and face appearing on her call screen, Yang smiled and answered. "Hey-hey, Rubles. Just woke me up from a..." She searched her mind for the least embarrassing answer. "Power nap. How's things? Find any new jobs yet to use that fancy licence on?"  
  
_"Hey, Yang! Sorry to interupt your vacation! And, well- Yes and no! Kind of need you help!"_  
  
Yang's smile faded. "Okay, where are you? Is it bounty hunters again? Because me and Dad spent a lot of time and ammo coming to an  _understanding_  over you with the Guildmaster."  
  
_"No, no! That's probably another problem for another day!"_  
  
"Bounty hunterrs? Are you a fugitive or something?" Said a voice Yang could hardly make out in the background.  
  
_"Weiss. I'm a_ Siren." Ruby answered, clearly talking to someone else.  _"Sorry, Yang! That's my new partner-and hopefully-future-bestie Weiss. We met when I accidentally- gently- ran her over with a car when she crossed the road without looking."_  
  
"GENTLY?!" Weiss yelled.  
  
_"Weiss, please. I'm on the scroll, and I already apologized and promised I'd make it up to you."_ Yang could make out indignant huffing.  _"So,_ anyway, _I need you help- well, actually, this person I'm supposed to be teaming up with is stuck in orbit, and she needs help. I think she was doing an orbital bounce-y thing, but it turned out the re-enty thrusters are out of commission. Stale fuel or something. Could you swing by in_ Bumblebee  _and pick her up? Please? I'll split my-"_  
  
"Easy, easy. Where are you, anyway? Can't you just contact local orbital emergency services and get her help?" Yang asked as she pulled on her socks and boots.  
  
_"Yeah... about that..."_ Ruby laughed awkwardly. _"I'm- well, I'm on... Pandora."_  
  
Yang went very still. "Ruby?"  
  
_"Yes, dearest big wonderful sister whom has proclaimed her love of me over any bad decision I might make in my entire lifetime?"_  
  
"You, me, and Dad had a  _very long talk_ about why you should never go to Pandora." Yang very slowly and clearly.  
  
_"I remember it was more yelling than talki-"_  
  
"Ruby. Pandora is where Sirens go to  _die!"_ Yang yelled.  
  
_"Yeah, it went a lot like that..."_ Ruby added weakly.  
  
"FOR THE BROTHER'S SAKE, RUBY!"  
  
_"I had to figure out what all these Vault dreams were about! And I figured I could get some practice doing missions and bounties here! And even if I found nothing, I could at least look back on all this knowing I at least tried!"_ Her younger sister defended herself, not that it made much of a difference to Yang.  
  
"I'm coming to get you right now. Your new friends can tag along if they want-"  
  
_"If I may..."_ Said a new voice very clearly into the line.  _"I believe I can safely mitigate the dangers a Siren might face went looking for the Vault."_  
  
Yang yanked away the scroll from her ear and saw that someone had indeed hooked into their private line. "How the f- this is an IHA scoll comm line! Who are you and how did y-"  
  
_"I'm Angel, and this is kind of what I do. I hope you don't mind too much, but I kind of got our new friend stuck in orbit, and I really need someone-_ anyone-  _to help her. I swear I'll make it worth your while."_  
  
Yang narrowed her eyes. "Uh huh... and because I just  _know_ Ruby probably didn't even ask, but what are you going to be paying for this doomed treasure hunt?"  
  
_"Oh- well, I kind of had some ideas that-"_ Angel replied awkwardly before being interupted.  
  
_"Oh, relax Angel. I can tell she's going to come. She's just milking you for cash."_ Ruby sighed.  
  
_"I might not have any money on me right now, but I_ can _make that arrest warrant and bounty you have on Tartarus Prime go away."_  
  
"Yang!" Ruby exclaimed in admonishing tone.  
  
Yang bristled. "That was a  _complete_ misunderstanding."  
  
_"You stole the planetary governor's horse, threw Molotov cocktails at his giant wooden statue, spray painted his golden turbo-mansion, punched your way through a police barricade, and broke fifteen traffic laws as you made your getaway into space. What... was misunderstood?"_  
  
"Seriously, sis?!" Ruby cried in familial shame.  
  
"If he didn't want any of that to happen, then he should have  _understood_ that paying me what he owed me for clearing out those Ursa's is what he  _should_  have done!" Yang protested. "Two of them were  _alpha's. He's_ lucky I didn't take it to the IHA and get him and his lousy lava-world  _blacklisted._ That bit of mercy should have made up for anything I did."  
  
_"Well, you can't cure stupid. But_ I  _would very much appreciate your assistance in this. And I promise an even split on any loot we find."_  
  
"Well... if you can hack the IHA comm network, I  _guess_ you can do what you say... fine, I was gonna help anyway. I'll get the show on the road." Yang rolled her eyes. "See you soon, Rubes."  
  
_"Thankyouthankyou! See you then!"_  
  
"Yes, thank yo-"  
  
Yang hung up.  
  
*****  
  
Yang's large-yet-sleek, black and yellow fighter/RV- the  _Bumblebee II-_ exited Paradise Nine's solar system without incident. It wasn't until she left the dizzying light of FTL that she felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise. Looking at the display in her cockpit, she couldn't help but remember all the horror stories her father used to tell her and Ruby about Pandora. He would tell them about how Pandora was initially a DAHL Eridium mining colony that failed  _hard._ He told them how even though the company was ready to deal with Grimm,  _nothing_ could have prepared them for the local wildlife. Entire settlements would go dark in the night from fearless packs of skags, or they were invaded from from underground by hungry spider-ants, and they even suffered horrific sieges from rakk hives.  
  
And the terror from these incidents drew the Grimm like a lion to a wounded antelope. The settlers that had the misfortune to survive the attacks would become the beginnings of Pandora's excessively high Bandit population.  
  
DAHL attempted to recoup there losses, and made the ultimate concession... they sold parts of Pandora to Atlas, Hyperion, the up and coming SDC, and Jakobs. An unprecedented move for such a world rich in valuable Eridium. But... like all other attempts to tame Pandora, it was only more meat for the grinder.  
  
Eventually, all five companies pulled out. The higher paid managers were moved off world without incident, the  _workers_ however, were given a choice; Forfeit any claims to their pay, or be left on Pandora with what little money they were owed.  
  
Far too many chose the latter... and even more were enticed to search for the mythical alien Vault allegedly containing lost treasure.  
  
Yang shook her head and pushed the sub-light engines to the max and streamed past the system's many other planets and towards her destination. She would rescue this orbital damsel in distress, find Ruby,  _and drag her kicking and screaming from this hellhole-deathtrap-world if she had to._  
  
She hooked a small headset over her ear, adjusted the mic, and linked her scroll to it. A quick call connected her to her sister. "Okay sis, I'm approaching Pandora. Shoot me the coordinates for this- what's her name?"  
  
_"Sending coordinates, and Angel said her name was Blake."_  
  
"Got it." Yang confirmed, and adjusted her course accordingly. Eventually, she came into Pandora's orbit and towards the pod. She angled  _Bumblebee II_ towards the pod's viewport get a look at whoever it was she was saving... and then she saw her.  
  
Yang beheld the vision that was Blake Belladonna in a bikini, jumping up and down and waving for her to rescue her.  
  
Yang took a moment to mentally store this sight in her memory for future lonely nights, and then she signaled her sister.  
  
"Ruby."  
  
_"Yeah, sis?"_  
  
"You got me a cat faunus in a bikini awaiting my heroic rescue. It's not even my birthday.  _How do I top this for yours?"_  
  
"A biki- what? Yang, we both agreed you'd never get into Uncle Qrow's 'special occasion' mushroom bag ever again."  
  
"Er, about that..." Angel interjected.  
  
_"... What?"_  
  
"She is, in fact, bikini clad."  
  
"Why?!" Ruby exclaimed.  
  
_"I don't know! I didn't want to ask! Maybe she comes from a very open minded and suitably temperate world!"_ Angel whined.  
  
"Well, now she's fogging up the glass of her viewport, and writing 'help,' so I probably should hurry up and save her." Yang said, purposefully cutting the conversation short.  
  
Giving a thumbs up to the trapped Huntress, she angled her ship to the top of the cargo pod, secured it to  _Bumblebee II's_ belly with the on-board tractor beam, and prepared for a planetary descent.  
  
And that was when things went to wrong.  
  
The ship rocked violently as Yang swore. Checking the readouts, the FTL drive had suffered catastrophic failure. She stood up and leaned so she could see the top of her craft, and lo and behold, there was a  _freaking harpoon_ stuck into the hull. She followed the chain connecting it to her ship up, up, and up and saw a hideous craft seemingly made from spare parts. Riding it's hull, was six normal sized people in patchwork spacesuits wielding guns and pick-axes. And behind  _them,_ was one very rotund man in an armored version of the others' suits, carually leaning on a heavy battleaxe. Yang huffed in irritation.  
  
"Dearest, Rubles." She commed her sister as she grabbed her [Oz kit](https://borderlands.fandom.com/wiki/Oz_Kit). "Why am I besieged by assholes in EVA suits?"  
  
_"What?"_  
  
"Ugh..." Angel groaned.  _"Sounds like Scav's. Old miners from Pandora's moon, Elpis. Allegedly they all went crazy and went full raiders after over-exposure from the... Moon Rocks."_  
  
"Moon Rocks." Yang repeated.  
  
_"DAHL is bad at naming things. You shouldn't have to much trouble dealing with these guys. Most of them were just everyday laborers who never even unlocked their semblances."_  
  
"I'll have to hold you to that." Yang said as she slapped the Oz kit on to her shoulder. Popping open a small compartment beside her chair, she pulled out a pair of heavy golden bracelets and slid them on. Reaching in once more, she also retrieved a heavy belt with a complicated dial attachment on it's side. After she put it on, she lightly punched a button below the cockpit's viewscreen.  
  
The cockpit began to depressurize, and the viewscreen opened. Reacting instantly, Yang's Oz kit sprang to life, giving her the air and protection she would need for vacuum. Yang grinned as she fixed her eyes on the Scav's that had been stupid enough to try and rob her. [Maybe having her vacation interupted wasn't so bad after all.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uHgo7_ZtXs)  
  
With a hard leap, she jumped to the chain that attached their ships, and used it to  _launch_ herself at her opponents.  
  
The Scav's, only caught a  _little_ flatfooted, fired wildly at her with their cobbled together assault rifles. The rounds that did hit her only served to strike her Aura... and feed her semblance.  
  
With a flick of her hands, she let go of the chain, and transformed her bracelets- revealing twin barrels in each. She tensed her hand, and the bracelets known as Ember Celica  _fired_ , altering and accelerating her trajectory. She flew above them-  _whatever that means in space-_ and then used the combined power of both her Oz kit and her weapons to  _rocket_ into the Scav ship. All seven of it's crew held on for dear life as the shockwave reverberated throught the vessel.  
  
Taking advantage of the confusion, Yang grabbed the nearest one to her.  
  
"Sorry! Shouldn't have tried to hijack me!" She halfheartedly apologized.  
  
Then she switched her right gauntlet to a  _timed_ Torgue round, fired it into the Scav's belly, and  _threw_ him into his recovering crewmates.  
  
The poor man popped like a meat balloon, splattering and showering the other Scav's with his insides. Some reacted with horror, some tried to wipe the viscera off their helmets, and Yang...  _advanced._  
  
One shotgun punch removed a man's head. A second cut another in half at the waist. One poor fool charged in with his pick-axe. Yang grabbed it mid swing, and  _pushed_ it's trajectory into another Scav's face, skewering his brain as he had tried to flank the young Huntress. The pick-axe wielder was shortly dealt with as Yang yanked out his weapon and inserted it into his forehead  _handle first._  
  
A fifth Scav screamed as he fired two assault rifles at the blonde  _demon_  that had slaughtered two thirds of his raiding party. Yang tanked the damage, dove into a slide, swept his legs out from under him with a kick, and proceeded to cave in his skull with her other leg.  
  
"HAVE SOME O' THIS, YA MAD DRONGO!" Shouted the armored Scav with the axe. He then threw what Yang recognised as a flashbang.  
  
Instinctively closing her eyes, she knew she didn't have to worry about the sound in space, all that mattered was bracing her Aura for the kinectic force of the device. The blast knocked her back a few steps, and she grinned at the now  _charging_ Scav with anticipation. It would be  _so cool_ if she timed this right.  
  
The axe came down.  
  
Yang's eyes blazed  _red._  
  
And then... her hair glowed gold, and there was a  _blur_ of motion as she stepped forward. The big Scav stared dumbly down at his chest... which had the young Huntress' arm embedded in it up to her  _elbow._  The battleaxe drifted away from his fingers into the darkness of space as he died.  
  
Yang pulled her arm out of his chest and shook the blood off. She then took the opportunity to use the rest of her semblance's power to pummel the Scav's outer engines into scrap. If there was anyone still inside,  _they_ could now enjoy being helpless in space.  
  
After a brief shotgun burst, she made her way back to the top of her ship. "Okay, those guys are dealt with, now to lose my unasked-for weight."  
  
_"In respect of our mutual sisterly love, I'm going to choose not to make a joke about that. Even though it would be super easy."_ Ruby commed in solemnly.  
  
"'Preciate it," Yang droned as she set her feet astride the rusty old harpoon, grabbed it by the haft, and  _yanked._  
  
With the Scav harpoon finally ripped off  _Bumblebee II,_ Yang was dismayed to see that it had taken along with it a skewered, and very FUBAR'd FTL drive.  
  
Yang cursed long and hard.  
  
"FTL drive is  _gone_ ladies. We're stuck in this system. I'm gonna land shortly and get my bearings." Yang sighed into the comm. Then inspiration struck her, causing a slow unrepentant grin to spread across her face. "I also gotta...  _let the cat out of the bag!"_  
  
"Ugh, Yaaaaang!" Ruby moaned as she cut the line.  
  
Yang sighed lightly. Some people couldn't appreciate a good pun. Even though she and her father had tried on Ruby almost every single day of her childhood.  
  
"Might as well make the best of all this." She mumbled to herself. "Least I get to meet the hottie in the pod."  
  
*****  
  
Making her way out of orbit, Yang dragged the cargo pod down to a abandoned looking stretch of desert. As gently as she could, she flew low to the ground and dropped the pod. She proceeded to then land the fighter a few yards away. Leaving the cockpit, moving past the living space, and out through the cargo area past where she'd strapped her hovercycle, she exited her craft.  
  
Loud repeated banging sounds revealed that Blake was having difficulty opening the rusty pod doors. Yang approached the viewport and knocked to get her attention. Blake's head turned, and her would-be savior mouthed the words, 'stand back.' She nodded and moved toward the back of the pod. With a shotgun assisted punch, Yang punched the viewport into millions of tiny shards.  
  
"Never fear, your ride is here!' Yang proclaimed. "Nice to meet you, I'm Yang Xiao Long, and I'm-"  
  
She was unable to finish her sentence before Blake walked up to her and started poking her face. Getting a hold of her self, she retracted her hand and had decency to blush. "Sorry! Sorry! I was trapped on an island for two years and I had to check to see whether or not you were a hallucination."  
  
Yang grinned. "Well, I'm about as real as it gets."  
  
"I'm Blake," She said and shot her hand forward between them, Yang took it in her own, twisted it upwards and brought her knuckles to her lips and gave them a very ladylike kiss.  
  
"Pleasure's all mine."  
  
Blake averted her eyes and laughed nervously. "We, uh, should get going! Angel and the others are waiting for us at a place called 'Grandma's House: The Bed and Breakfast.' I can give you the coordinates."  
  
"Sure thing," Yang smiled and gestured toward  _Bumblebee II._  "Your chariot awaits!"  
  
Blake smiled in awkward gratitiude and followed Yang into her ship. After punching in the provided coordinates, they were off to Grandma's House.  
  
"So..." Blake mumbled as she leaned against the cockpit's door frame. "I know I'm pretty indebted to you for that save, and I hate to ask for anything more..."  
  
Yang rolled her eyes with a grin. "Y'know, what? I'm feeling generous. Shoot."  
  
Blake's ears flattened in embarrassment. "... Could I bother you for a spare pair of pants? Now that I'm among  _an actual breathing person_  for the first time in years, I feel more exposed than the corpses on the island as the sun bleached their bones."  
  
Yang's smile perfectly covered her internal dismay. "Sure. I got a pair of black skinny jeans that should fit you." Yang took one last look up and down her new traveling companion. "Might be a bit tight in the hips though."  
  
"Thanks. Really."  
  
Yang shrugged and set the controls to autopilot. The FTL drive may be gone, but the sub-light engines were more than ready for a cross continent journey. She got out of her chair and ushered Blake into the living quarters as  _Bumblebee_ flew on.  
  
She took one last look out the cockpit's window, and let out a small laugh.  
  
"Guess I'm going Vault hunting."  
  
_*****_  
  
A/N: Sorry for the rushed fight scene, but I wanted this one to be finished by New Years.  
  
_NAME: Yang Xiao Long_  
CLASS: Brawler  
WEAPON: Ember Celica  
AGE: 19  
HEIGHT: Non-laughable  
WEIGHT: {INFORMATION MISSING- FILES DELETED}  
SEMBLANCE: Kinetic absorption and redistribution.  
EQUIPMENT: Elemental damage shroud  
  
WANTED: ALIVE  
CRIME: Vandalism, arson, assault, destruction of property, horse theft.  
BOUNTY: $30,000  
  
*****  
  
Next chapter: Meet Angel, the Siren of being in over her head.


	5. Chapter 1

"Ruby!" Weiss shouted from the gunner seat of their Runner.  
  
"What?!" Ruby yelled, not quite able to hear Weiss over the engine.  
  
"I think we're being followed!"  
  
"Yeah! The engine  _is_  pretty loud!"  
  
Weiss groaned in frustration, leaned out of the gunner seat and slightly into the drivers canopy. She poked Ruby's shoulder and pointed her toward an oncoming dust cloud behind them.  
  
"Whoa! We're being followed! Why didn't you just say so?!" Ruby exclaimed.  
  
Weiss's face went completely blank, then she inhaled deeply and exhaled a frustrated breath. She retreated to the gunner seat and switched off the safety of the fifty caliber turret the runner was equipped with.  
  
"If they're hostile I don't know how long the ammo in this thing will last!" Weiss shouted,  _much_ louder than before..  
  
"Runners digistruct their ammo from the old DAHL stores! There's tens of  _billions_ of rounds in there! Ammo is NOT a problem!" Ruby reassured.  
  
"Right!" Weiss thumped the Runner's hull. "How about shields?! How much damage can they take?!"  
  
"We should be... fine! As long as it's not sustained fire!" Ruby reassured to little effect. "Be glad this ride didn't come from Bandits! The locals go out of their way to remotely disable the higher tech functions like ammo transmissions and shields!"  
  
Weiss decided not to ask what the little  _pause_  concerning  _their_ shields was about, and kept her eye on the approaching cloud.  
  
The entire situation she was in was... taking a while to sink in. She had no money- which was  _a lot_  to come to terms with. The SDC was... gone. Fortunately, she had decided that was something she could process  _later._ Her father was now a broken torture doll for Handsome Jack, which... didn't really affect her as much as she thought it would. (And  _now_ it was bothering her that it didn't bother her!) Her mother and brother's survival was left with a  _big_ question mark, and that left a tight worried feeling in her belly even if her feelings toward them were more... neutral than she'd like to admit.  
  
And of course, she was riding with a  _Siren._ Not that she actually  _believed_  Ruby Rose was one of the six women in the universe who were born with destructive power beyond all Semblances. For all she knew, her new companion was practicing the most suicidal cosplay in the galaxy!  _But..._  manners dictated that she  _could not_  openly accuse Ruby of lying. After all... she had given Weiss  _cake._  
  
Or maybe she just didn't want to face the fact that ruby might actually  _be-  
_  
Then she could finally see what was coming.  
  
"Ruby. Was there any... hallucinogenics in that cake you gave me?!" Weiss shouted as calmly as she could.  
  
"What?! No!"  
  
"Then I'm looking at an oncoming Bandit convoy led by what looks like two semi trucks welded together and put on monster truck wheels!"  
  
"... Awesome! Lets go say hi!"  
  
And to Weiss's horror, Ruby stopped the Runner, turned it around, and took off straight toward the Bandits.  
  
"Are you crazy?!" Weiss shrieked.  
  
"A Huntress is not prey!  _Two_ Huntresses are overkill! We'll be fine!"  
  
"But I- I've never fought Bandits before!" Weiss admitted reluctantly.  
  
"What?! How?!" Ruby yelled.  
  
"I've only taken on small-to-medium Grimm, and some Hyperion robots! The SDC kept on top of our Grimm population, so Bandit conversions were super rare!"  
  
"Well, there's a first time for everything! And besides, even if we avoid these guys, they're just gonna roll onto somebody else! That's not okay with me! Is it okay with you?!"  
  
"Of course not-!"  
  
"Then lets cowgirl up and do the job we got our licenses for!"  
  
Weiss... could not bring herself to argue with that. So she took careful aim at the oncoming rig. She frowned as she noticed the Bandit Runners alongside it. She began to run the mental math. "Ruby! There's a lot of them! My studies said that normally with this number that means there's-!"  
  
"-A Boss Bandit! I know! I'm gonna try to kill the wheels on the side of that rig! Think you can keep those Runners off of us?!"  
  
["Only one way to find out!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TuJKsfpfNI) Weiss shouted with as much as confidence as she could fake.  _(For the sake of_ theme, _imagine a series of credits and titles running past each instance of ultra-violence that you can stand.)_  
  
As they approached the Bandits, they both got a clearer idea of what they were fighting. The main enemy vehicle was  _indeed_  two semi-trucks welded together at the side and put on monster truck wheels. The front and sides of the rig was adorned with as many metal spikes and circular saws that the Bandits could weld to it's hull. There was on Bandit atop the fused cabs of the machine operating what appeared to be a harpoon turret. And dozens of other Bandits were behind him, hanging onto to the spikes. It became quickly apparent that this rig was mainly to off-load as many Bandits upon the unwary, like a mini-van full of children at a family reunion buffet.  
  
Riding along side the machine were seven Bandit Runners on both sides of the rig, with multiple Psychos hanging off of them.  
  
Simultaneously, both Huntresses opened fire, Ruby with her front mounted cannon, and Weiss with the turret. The .50 caliber rounds collided against the oncoming double-semi's armored engine block, and the riders hooting and hollering atop the dangerously put-together rig. The bullets did next to nothing to the oversized vehicle, but the Bandits were cut down off it well enough.  
  
As both machines careened towards each other, Ruby turned sharply to her right, avoiding a head on collision. Weiss in turn targeted the weapon turrets of the Runners alongside them. Both winced as the Bandits returned fire, hammering their Runner's shield. Ruby saw the gauge showing shield strength and made a decision. "Hey, Weiss! Looks like you were right to be concerned about the shields! They are  _not_  doing as well as i thought they would!"  
  
"What?! Then what do we do now?!" She asked as she picked another Bandit out of his gunner seat with sustained fire.  
  
"We're gonna jump onto the big rig!" Ruby shouted as she juked and turned the Runner in evasive maneuvers.  
  
"... All right! Fine! Why not?! Let's do it! It's apparently that kind of day!" Weiss yelled in frustration, throwing up her arms in the air. Then she remembered that she was supposed to be  _firing_  and put her hands back on the handles of the turret.  
  
"Awesome! Lemme turn on the autopilot so it'll ram one of the bad guys!" Ruby said cheerfully.  
  
Weiss turned toward her in confusion. "Runners have auto-?"  
  
And then she saw Ruby jamming a tire iron into the steering wheel. The younger Huntress followed up by withdrawing a brick from the glove-box and laying it on the gas pedal. She looked up to Weiss and shrugged. "It's Pandora!"  
  
Weiss had a terrible premonition that those exact words would be used to explain a great deal of her terrible experiences on this planet.  
  
"Now for the cool part!" As she stood up out of the gunners seat and unsheathed Myrtenaster, Ruby stood out of hers and grabbed her hand. And the very moment she made contact with the Siren, Weiss Schnee felt herself come apart, but... not in an unpleasant way.  
  
 _And everything became petals.  
_  
All too quickly- in Weiss's opinion- they re-materialized atop the Bandit rig. ruby swung her scythe around them and cleared out a few that had been too near.  
  
"We- we were  _petals!"_  Weiss gasped in amazement.  
  
"Told you it would be cool! Now let's get to work!"  
  
Weiss snapped out of her daze, and began to carryout her work in their attack. As Ruby began hacking away at the Bandits towards the back of the vehicle, Weiss began to edge toward the front. She grimaced as a trio of Psychos ran at her, howling insane nonsense. She took a breath,, adjusted her stance, and elegantly separated the first Psycho from his head with a small flick of her blade. As the second one came barreling in, she sidestepped him, and promptly stabbed him in the heart. The third brought his circular saw club swinging at her. A simple parry deflected it, followed up with a kick that threw him from the rig, resulting in him being crushed under it's many wheels.  
  
As she glanced at the black ichor covering her blade, she felt ill.  
  
 _'Bandits aren't people. Bandits aren't people. bandits aren't people.'_ She mentally repeated the old line her instructors had drilled into her.  
  
Meanwhile, Ruby was having her own annoyances with their foes.  
  
"STRIP THE FLESH! SALT THE WOUND!" Screamed an oncoming Psycho.  
  
"POUR THE MILK! EAT THE COOKIES!" Ruby shouted back as she bisected him.  
  
As she killed the last of the the Bandits on the rear, she noticed a couple of the Bandit Runners were running up behind them. Ruby frowned as she noticed they were equipped with rocket launchers. This would take up more Aura than she would prefer in this early in a fight. Well, she  _did_  have Weiss helping, so maybe that would be-  
  
 _Fwoosh!  
  
And they were already shooting rockets at her so that cut down on the consideration time!_  
  
Ruby shifted to petal form to move a few steps back, reformed, and activated her Siren powers to catch the thousands of petals that had been left behind. As her tattoo's glowed, she sent a storm of petals into the ammo blocks of both Runners, tearing open many of the rockets within, and causing them to  _explode.  
_  
This display was not unnoticed by Weiss, who had been about to inform Ruby that more bandits were crawling up from inside the trailer,  _and could she please join her at her earliest convenience?_  Instead, she had been gobsmacked as to display of her new friend's glowing tattoos.  
  
"You- you  _are_ a Siren!" Weiss exclaimed.  
  
Ruby converted Crescent Rose back into sniper configuration and shot Weiss an incredulous look, while  _also_  shooting the Bandit coming behind the former heiress. "Well, yeah! I flat out told you I was!"  
  
"I thought it was just cosplay!" Weiss snapped defensively as she flicked out a series of tiny fireballs into the faces of the two Marauers climbing up to her left. "I just- I would have thought you were too  _nice_  to be a Siren!"  
  
"Sirens can be nice! I am living proof!" Ruby complained. She loaded a clip of Torgue rounds, and opened fire on a couple of the Bandit Runners that were attempting a boarding action. They promptly crashed and burned.  
  
Weiss winced as she froze a Bandit solid, leaving him to shatter as he hit the ground falling off the rig. "That-! ... That came out too mean. I  _apologize._  I suppose I'm more used to hearing stories of Sirens who blow up toy factories and eat CEO's alive."  
  
Ruby's eye twitched and let out a steadying breath. "Okay, I forgive you. But it was only  _one time,_  like,  _two hundred years_  ago that a Siren did that! One time! One!"  
  
As both Huntresses returned their focus to the events around them, they noticed that the surviving Runners and the Bandits coming from below showed no sign of letting up. Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "Well, this is all a little...  _much._ Mind watching my back so I make a quick call to my sister?"  
  
"By all means!" Weiss replied as she used ice Dust within her weapon to frost the sides of the rig so Bandits could fall to their vehicular homicide flavored doom.  
  
"Thanks, you're the best!" Ruby smiled as she dug out her scroll.  
  
Weiss turned and began to stab any Bandit who had the misfortune to find handholds to climb up right in their faces, while hiding a coloration her cheeks. "Of course I am!"  
  
The scroll rang twice before her sister picked up.  _"Hey, Ruby. We're just a few minutes away from this Grandma's House place, so-"  
_  
"Cool! Think you could make a detour? We kind of ran into a Bandit problem, and  _maaaaaaaayyyyyybeee_ bit off a little more than we could chew."  
  
Yang sighed.  _"Oh,_ Ruby."  
  
"I know, I know!" Ruby whined  
  
 _"We'll have the whole 'being a Siren doesn't make you invincible' talk later. Locking onto your scrolls location. At max burn, we can be there in little under fifty seconds. Hang tight. We're on our way."_  
  
Ruby fished out her wireless headset and keyed it into her scroll. "Got it! Hey, Weiss! We just need to hold out for fifty seconds!"  
  
Weiss ducked her head out of the way of oncoming assault rifle fire from the Marauders hanging off of a Runner that had snuck up their side. "Copy that." She groused as she checked her ponytail.  
  
To make an overdrawn fight scene mercifully short, Ruby and Weiss fended off attacks from the Runners while doing unspeakably violent things to any Bandit who managed to be stupid enough to climb up were all their fellows were slaughtered.  
  
 _"Coming up on you all now!"_ Yang's voice rang out on her earpiece.  
  
 _"Wow. That's a_ big  _rig."_ Followed an unfamiliar voice Ruby assumed was Blake.  
  
 _"I know, right?! That driver's penis must be_ microscopic!"  
  
"Yang.  _Why?"_ Ruby grumbled. She didn't have to look up to see her sister's ship roaring in overhead.  
  
 _"Setting Bumblebee II on auto-pilot to Grandma's House! Original flavor Bumblebee coming in hot! C'mon, Blake! Let's ride!"  
  
"Wait, we're doing what now?"_  
  
Weiss risked a look up to see that descending from the heavens was a blonde woman wearing the loudest Hawaiian t-shirt she had ever seen riding a yellow and black hover-cycle, and clinging to her for dear life was a black-haired faunus clad in a bikini top and far-too-tight pants screaming all the way down.  
  
"There you are!" Ruby exclaimed. "We'll take this rig down if you can just kill the Runners!"  
  
 _"Easy-peasy! Right Blake?!"  
  
"AAAAAAHHHH! We're gonna crash!"  
  
"Pft, are _not!" Yang replied as she sent the hover-thrusters to full, decelerating their fall to a safe speed and met the ground with little fanfare.  
 _  
"... Oh. We're still alive. Huh."_  
  
" _Yep! Now how about you take those swords and get ready to slash them as we run by?"_ Yang said as she gunned the engine toward a pack of Runners.  
  
 _"Can do."  
_  
Ruby sighed in relief. "Okay, with the Runners off our back, we can make our way inside and stop this crazy-"  
  
"Bruisers!" Weiss shouted.  
  
Ruby leaned forward, and found that there were in fact oversized muscle-bound Bandits punching through the ice and making handholds on the side of the rig. "Aw, nuts. Bullet sponges."  
  
Both Huntresses opened fire on the assault rifle toting Bandits as they danced out of the way of the return fire.  
  
Meanwhile, Yang and Blake were causing pandemonium among the Runners. After all the carnage that had been inflicted upon them, there were just five of the Bandit operated vehicles left. Letting loose with  _Bumblebee's_ front mounted laser cannons, the first Runner's exploded as it's fuel tank was ignited. Drifting them close to a second one, Yang got Blake close enough to to slice apart a wheel, forcing the vehicle to crash and burn.  
  
As Yang dodged out of the wreckage's way, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that two Runners were charging at them. Before they could open fire, she pointed the left half of Ember Celica and fired, causing them to split off.  
  
Blake, taking her own initiative, leapt off of the hover craft and landed on the drivers section of one of the Runners. Executing the Bandit in the turret with her machete, she stabbed the driver in the forehead. Angling the steering wheel back towards Yang, she killed the two remaining Bandits hanging off the Runner with a pair of well placed shots.  
  
Having gotten close enough, she jumped back onto  _Bumblebee,_ after Yang had apparently dealt with the other Runner with the laser cannons.  
  
"Nice work!" Yang complimented.  
  
"Thanks!" Blake smiled bashfully. "I used to practice in my hallucinations!"  
  
"... Okay!" Yang replied with awkward cheerfulness. "One left! How do you want to do this?"  
  
As she asked, the last Runner opened fire on them. Bouncing off a translucent barrier, the hover bike's shields took the damage without much incident. Yang dove  _Bumblebee_  to the right, and Blake fired Gambol Shroud wildly at their enemy.   
  
"Kinda want to cook off their fuel pod!" She shouted back, loading an incendiary clip of Dust into her weapon.  
  
"I'll get you the angle!" Yang said with a savage grin.  
  
Revving the engine, they burst into a tight turn to face the enemy Runner head on. As they closed the distance, Yang hit a hidden trigger on the handlebar, and they were suddenly  _jumping_  into the air. The bold Huntress  _twisted_ the bike in midair, causing them to briefly be upside down. Blake took advantage of the situation, and fired a flaming round into the exposed engine of the Runner. Righting their trajectory to land right-side up, neither Yang nor her companion looked behind them as the Bandits exploded.  
  
"That was fun." Blake commented with a small smile.  
  
Yang shifted her attention to the rig where her sister was fighting. Watching as Ruby and Weiss poured fire into Bandits, she frowned and checked  _Bumblebee's_ HUD. After browsing her inventory, her face blossomed into a wide smile  
  
"Hey, truck team! Get ready to jump! We're gonna try and flip that monster rig!"  
  
"We are?" Blake asked.  
  
 _"Go ahead, sis! We're ready to ditch this ride!"_  
  
 _"We are?!"_  Weiss yelped in the background.  
  
Ruby grabbed her new friend's hand and shifted them both into petals once more. The Bandits shouted in confusion as the two took off and left the doomed rig behind.  
  
Once she saw they were free and clear, Yang grinned and gunned her bike ahead toward the front of the rig.  
  
"So what's the plan?" Blake asked, speaking directly into Yang's ear.  
  
"Gonna use a trip-wire mine to make it flip over!"  
  
Blake blinked. "Oh. I've seen those. They're pretty good for wheeled vehicles. How come you didn't use them against the Runners?"  
  
"Only got just the one! So let's hope it works out!"  
  
Blake was about to protest until it occurred to her that all that the manic insanity of the day's events was  _still_ better than the  _boring_ insanity of the island. So she wrapped her arms around Yang's waist and decided to go with the flow.  
  
The flow promptly led directly to Yang's hair blowing  _right into her mouth,_  causing her to question her life choices as the other Huntress deployed the trip-mine.  
  
After getting a good distance ahead of the rig, it dropped out from the rear of  _Bumblebee._ The T-shaped mine stabbed itself into the ground, shot out both of it's arms with flexi-steel cable trailing along and embedded themselves in a billboard and rock outcropping respectively.  
  
The rig collided with the trip-wire.  
  
The front axle of the fused semis became entwined withe the cable.  
  
The promptly  _tore off_  the rig.  
  
The rig proceeded to  _flip._  
  
This in turn led to the remaining Bandits atop the semi to be thrown high into the air.  
  
Yang threw up her arms and cheered.  
  
A decent distance away, Ruby and Weiss watched in awe as the giant vehicle tumbled,bounced and finally  _crashed,_  crumpling itself into a useless ruin.  
  
The Siren turned to Weiss and smiled. "Well, that turned out great! Now we can head straight to Grandma's-"  
  
And then a dead Bruiser's corpse fell from the sky and landed on her. Weiss yelped as she dodged the rest of the Bandits that had been atop the rig. As some of them groaned and came to, she readied Myrtenaster and went to the bloody work of finishing them off.  
  
Seeing this, Yang face-palmed with her free hand.  
  
"Mind giving my sister a hand?" Yang asked as she turned sharply out of the way of a falling Bruiser. "I'll take out the leftovers from the Runners."  
  
"Sure thing!" Blake replied and once again leapt off the hover bike.  
  
Landing in a roll, she took off in a run toward the dazed Ruby. Every now and then, she hacked apart whatever Bandit dragged themselves up out of the dirt that had the misfortune of crossing her path. She winced as the tight pants she had been loaned began to rub her legs uncomfortably. The chafing was beginning to become  _so not worth it._  
  
Arriving at the downed Siren, she gathered her Aura and began to  _shove_ the Bandit off of her.  
  
"Hi, I'm Blake." She introduced herself as she hefted the Bruiser's corpse off of Ruby.  
  
"Ruby! Nice to meet you!" She groaned and extended her hand and Blake pulled her up. "Wow, so you really  _were_ just wearing a bikini, huh?"  
  
"It was a gift... and all the clothes I had left." Blake mumbled, trying to stand in such a way as hide how much the borrowed pants were bothering her.  
  
Ruby definitely noticed. "You know, I have an old black sarong you could have. One size fits all!"  
  
Blake attempted to not look embarrassed. She failed. "I'd appreciate that, really."  
  
"Aw, no problem!" Ruby smiled. "But you should probably get back to helping Yang."  
  
They both looked to where Yang was gleefully feeding the remaining Psychos into her bike's hover blades. "Er, I'm not sure she...  _needs_  any."  
  
"Eh," Ruby shrugged. "Sometimes she needs someone to keep her from getting carried away."  
  
"Ah, gotcha." Blake nodded and leapt toward the hover-carnage.  
  
Ruby's attention was diverted to the sound of groaning metal. She rolled her eyes when she saw figures begin to emerge out of the wreckage of the trailer. "Geez, who knew Bandits had the patience to pack themselves in like sardines?"  
  
Taking aim, she fired upon the the first one to free themselves, and  _instantly_ regretted it when she saw it was the massively bloated form of a Baby Daddy class of Bandit. As the rounds struck it's huge form, she saw the poor soul's black veined, pale skin begin to inflate.  
  
She resisted the urge to throw up as she saw when of the large Bandit's belly burst into a spray of black liquid. From the dark pools emerged many small spider-like Grimm. "Weiss! Charlies!"  
  
After decapitating a Marauder, Weiss's head whipped around to Ruby. "What?!"  
  
"Charlotte's! Bandit-spawn! They explode when you-!"  
  
"I know what a Charlotte is! Who calls them  _Charlies?!"  
  
"Everybody! _It's cute!" Ruby responded, reloading Crimson Rose.  
  
"There's nothing cute about Charlotte's! They're Grimm in the shape of  _spiders!"_  
  
Ruby groaned in frustration "Just kill them before they-"  
  
Weiss flicked Mytenaster to and fro, firing off multiple fire blasts that  _detonated_  the Charlotte's...  _in addition_ to the the several more Baby Daddy's trying to free themselves from the wreckage. The resulting blast killed them all and their spawn in one moment.  
  
"-Explode."  
  
Weiss sniffed. "I was simply waiting for them to move to the right spot at the right time."  
  
 _"FOUND THE BOSS!"_  Came the shout of Yang in the earpiece.  
  
They saw the drivers section of the rig  _bend_  outward, as a hulking mass extracted itself from the wreckage. Extending itself, it became apparent it was something that was  _once_  a Beowulf, but now it was a nightmarish fusion of Grimm and Bandit. Several bodies were fused into itself, creating a horrible kind of living armor. The Bandits living in it (on it? with it? I don't frickin' know), laughed and writhed in ecstasy. The monstrosity roared and lurched toward Ruby and Weiss.  
  


_**Our-Get-Along-Horror** _

_**Don't worry. All those Bandits were jerks even before the Grimm got to them.** _

  
"Okay, we're doing  _this_  now." Ruby blinked and loaded Crimson Rose with incendiary rounds. She inhaled deeply, and then yelled, "CHARGE!"  
  
She activated her semblance, and sped toward the Grimm. Closing the distance she re-materialized behind it and slashed at one of the Bandits embedded in the hide. The move removed one of his arms, but the Grimm did not take this lightly. With shocking speed, Our-Get-Along-Horror reached around, grabbed Ruby's arm and  _slammed_ her into the wreckage, then it  _slammed_ her into the ground, and for good measure, it  _slammed_ her into the wreckage once again. Satisfied, the monster threw her a dozen yards away.  
  
Ruby landed in a heap, Aura  _flickering_  but not yet spent. She groaned as she rolled onto her back.  
  
"So..." Ruby moaned as spat out dirt. "This is gonna be one of  _those_ fights."  
  
Yang and Blake pulled up beside her, dismounted and helped her up. Meanwhile, Weiss was peppering the Grimm with fireballs, distracting it away from her fallen comrade.  
  
"How about we all try it together?" Blake suggested. "Could end up staving off our horrible, horrible deaths at the hands of the super-Grimm."  
  
"Sounds like a plan." Ruby smiled with a grimace. "Let's... see what we can do!"  
  
"Super inspiring." Yang replied with smile.

Flanking the beast, they all began their own attacks.  
  
Ruby, fully aware of her diminished Aura, strafed the monster a good distance away at a light jog. With Crescent Rose in sniper configuration, she did her best to kill off the Bandits that made up the ablative armor. A task made very irritating by the fact it took nothing less than a perfect head shot to silence them. After emptying the clip, the burning corpses on... Our-Get-Along-Horror (wow, that name gets stupider to write every time) were beginning to become unresponsive, leaving a gaping hole in the beast's defense.  
  
Weiss took the liberty to slow down the monstrosity by encasing it's hind legs in solid rock, leaving it stuck in place. She kept herself a safe distance away and awaited to see what her fellow Huntresses would follow up with. (Look, playing support is boring, but someone has to do it.)  
  
Blake distracted the monster by getting in close to it's striking range, and leaving only intangible clones for it to attack. She took advantage of the confusion dive to it's side and to hack, and hack, and hack, and hack, and  _hack_  away with her swords at the gaping hole in the Bandit armor that Ruby had made. The beast  _screamed_ in agony as she dove deep into it's dark insides.  
  
As it wailed in pain, in came  _Yang._ Not bothering with anything less than a full frontal assault, she leaped over it's arms and began to devastate it's face with many shotgun assisted punches. Soon enough, the bone white mask of the creature that had once been a Beowulf began to crack and splinter.  
  
Our-Get-Along-Horror (sigh), had quite  _enough_  of this, and reached down to grab Blake from where she was doing her bloody work. Using the bikini-clad ninja as a bludgeon, it  _smacked_ her into Yang throwing them both off. It then used both it's arms to free itself from the rocky prison it had been trapped in. Now it was a highly angry and  _free_ monster... that now shifted it's focus onto  _Weiss.  
_  
Weiss in turn groaned at the unfairness of it all, and dodged out of the way of it's charge. It  _sucks_ to be the glass cannon of the group.  
  
Seeing this, the Crimson Siren frowned in thought. As she looked at all the damage the monster had taken, a plan began to form in her minds eye.  
  
"Hey, Weiss! Got any gravity dust?!" Ruby shouted.  
  
"Just one cartridge left!" Weiss replied as she danced away from a claw swipe.  
  
"Enough to send Yang at ultra-high velocity into the face of that thing?!"  
  
"Wait. You're gonna  _what?"_ Blake asked as she and Yang recovered and ran to Ruby's side.  
  
"Now  _this_  sounds like a Xiao Long family kinda plan!" Yang piped in  
  
"Oh, don't worry!" Ruby reassured Blake. "Her semblance allows her to store up kinetic damage, increase it tenfold, and lets her send it right back.  
  
Blake's left eye began to twitch. "Damage redirection semblance. That's... fateful."  
  
"YES! I CAN DO THAT!  _NOW SOMEONE HELP ME, DAMMIT!"_  Weiss shouted, as a swiping claw scratched deeply into her Aura. (Support life, yo.)  
  
"Oh, right. Blake, we'll run distraction! Yang, extract Weiss and get ready!"  
  
"Got it." Said both of them, simultaneously.  
  
"Jinx! Owe me a coke!" Yang sang as she ran to Weiss.  
  
"Where am I gonna find a coke?!" Blake shouted back and ran to her own objective. "Coca Coolers went out of business thousands of years ago!"  
  
Ruby joined Blake and transformed Crescent Rose back into scythe mode. Together, they flanked the monster on both sides, forcing it to try and hit one while the other attacked. As it swiped at Blake's clones, Ruby set to work at killing the Bandits in it's  _left_ side. And when it turned to swipe at Ruby, who only left petals in her wake, Blake continued the work she had been doing on the vulnerable  _right_ side.  
  
This allowed Yang to pull Weiss to safety two dozen yards away. Not missing a beat, the former heiress loaded a black cartridge into her weapon. Flicking the rapier about created a series of black glyphs leading directly to the beast.  
  
"Sure you want to do this?" She asked Yang.  
  
The sunny Huntress smiled. "I'll be fine, just got to get the sucky part over with."  
  
And with that, she braced her Aura, placed her fists against her abdomen, and  _fired_ half of her Ember Celica's shells into herself. Groaning in pain as her Aura flickered, she crouched and readied herself to leap into the glyphs.  
  
"Okay, Ruby! That's about as much as I can take for this! Ready when you are!" Yang called into the comm link on her ear.  
  
Ruby, upon hearing this, smiled. She proceeded to turn into petals one last time for the day, and shot over directly to Blake. The cat faunus was left in  _utter confusion_  as her existence briefly was briefly pulled apart and put back together. They reappeared a safe distance away, leaving a frustrated monster behind.  
  
Ruby wasted no time in signalling her sister."Got it, Yang!We're clear! Now,  _BOOP THE SNOOT FOR CRITICAL DAMAGE!"_  
  
"Consider it booped!" Yang yelled happily as she jumped into the glyphs.  
  
Her hair burst into glorious golden flames, and her eyes turned  _red._ As she accelerated toward Our-Get-Along-Horror (whoo! last time!), the monster briefly considered it's life choices as it behold the golden comet that was Yang Xiao Long. It decided it probably should have stuck to raiding the frozen wastelands instead of forming some wacky Mad Max-style caravan gang.  
  
Yang collided with it's face with a furious explosion, causing it's head to completely come apart. As it dissolved into smoky Gimm-goo, Yang landed in a roll, breathing hard as her Aura flickered away, indicating she was  _quite_  done for the day. "Nailed... it!"  
  
The rest of the team jogged to her and helped her up. As they were about to congratulate each other, Ruby noticed several objects being left behind.  
  
"Treasure!" She shouted.  
  
And indeed there was. Piles of money were left behind in the goop addition to several cases of ammo, and weapon mods of various manufacturers and rarity.  
  
"So... it was eating... loot?" Weiss asked in confusion.  
  
"Yeah, Grimm do that." Ruby replied dryly.  
  
"But  _why-"  
_  
"Just roll with it." The Siren consoled her by patting her shoulder. Then a thought occurred to her. "Huh, y'know when I first got here, Angel contacted me and told me Bandits were gonna attack me. I wonder why she was silent this time..."  
  
"Call and ask!" Yang shouted, apparently she had recovered enough to walk over and collect the money into a pile (After loading her pockets with a 'healthy' cut). Blake was busy gathering and sorting various weapon mods that had been scattered about.  
  
Ruby frowned and nodded. She fished out her scroll and sent a call to the number Angel had last contacted her with. (Meanwhile, Weiss darted forward and snatched up any Dust rounds she could get a hold of.)  
  
The scroll rang. And rang. And rang. After a full minute of no one answering Ruby frowned.  
  
~~~~~  
  
After piling onto  _Bumblebee,_ the four Huntresses made their way to Ruby's Runner, which was miraculously undamaged and still running with the brick on it's pedal, leaving the machine running over the sand dunes of Pandora. Reclaiming the vehicle, they all made their way to Grandma's House: The Bed and Breakfast.  
  
As Ruby attempted several more calls to Angel, she began to feel somewhat concerned as no answer came.  
  
Eventually, they made their way to a walled off settlement. It's rusty steel walls protecting itself from both the elements and the wildlife were unmanned and clearly hadn't been maintained in decades. The gates opened for them automatically, setting their nerves on edge. Inside as they slowly rolled in, they found a ghost town awaiting them. Dozens of buildings within the old town had been untouched by the outer world, leaving the ladies the feeling that they waiting for new life to inhabit them once again.  
  
They eventually came to a stop once they reached their destination. Grandma's House: The Bed and Breakfast had clearly been a lovingly well put together inn promising a cozy stay with full bellies  _guaranteed._ Built in the shape of an oversized cottage, it's welcoming atmosphere drowned out the bleakness of it's surroundings.  
  
As the girls dismounted their vehicles, they prepared to enter the building.  
  
"Wait." Yang grabbed Ruby's shoulder. "Angel's still unresponsive, and we still don't know why. Anything could be waiting for us in there."  
  
Ruby grimaced and nodded. "Right. Okay, gang, weapons out and be ready for anything!"  
  
After all four Huntresses readied their weapons Ruby stepped forward, focused her Aura into her leg and kicked the door open to find-!  
  
... A pale woman with blue siren tattoo's, an impressive side-cut exposing cybernetic ports in the side of her skull. It appeared that she was in the middle of making a truly gigantic breakfast including, bacon, eggs, waffles, pancakes, and sausages. In the background, there was a holoscreen playing a video of a chef cooking in the background. Below it was the caption 'HOW TO COOK FOR A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WITHOUT MURDERING YOURSELF AND EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING.'  
  


**_ANGEL_ **

**_The Universe's Most Awkward Siren_ **

  
"Um, h-hi, everyone! I thought you'd like something to eat." Angel said as she waved a spatula shyly.  
  
 **~~~~~  
  
THE PLANET VALE  
  
BEACON CITY  
  
IHA HEADQUARTERS  
  
~~~~~**  
  
In a lavish office surrounded by clockwork, there sat a silver haired man at a large desk in a dark suit with small sunglasses just off the bridge of his nose. He pondered the steaming cup of coffee before him for a moment. With a heavy sigh, he opened a drawer in the desk, withdrew a flask, and emptied its contents into the coffee. Putting it away, he drained the coffee with a single motion, not even bothering to savor the taste. Setting the cup aside, he pinched his nose. "Here we go..."  
  


**_OZPIN_ **

**_The great and powerful, yadda, yadda, yadda._ **

  
"Computer, place a call to Hyperion's CEO."  
  
 _"One moment."_ Quietly informed an automated voice.  _"Call accepted."  
_  
The air in front of Ozpin's desk was suddenly filled with the hologram of a man with black-to-greying hair in a strange suit and a strange mask grafted to his face.  _"Well, I'll be. The wonderful wizard of being a pain in my ass. What's up Ozzy?"  
_

**_HANDSOME JACK_ **

**_The Great and Terrible_ **

  
"Jack. I'm calling you in regards to the SDC incident, and your ongoing hostilities against Atlas."  
  
Jack snorted.  _"I gave Schnee every chance to_ not  _try and screw me over. Idiot thought he could rip me off, and now he and his entire company's paid the price. Don't make a big deal out of it, Oz. If it hadn't been me, it woulda been Maliwan, or even Tediore. Well, y'know, if they could take their balls out of their purses for half a minute. As for Atlas? That shit started before I was even in charge. I'm just finishing it."  
_  
Ozpin's eyes narrowed. "You're scorched earth strategies have the IHA  _very_  concerned. It is one thing to put up with the endless border conflicts between the corporations, but it is another thing entirely when the fear you purposefully sow among civilians cause Grimm outbreaks the likes of which humanity has not seen since before the Great Collapse."  
  
 _"Your mistaking my winning strategy for recklessness."_ Jack smirked.  _"The majority of my forces are automated robots, so I got frickin' nothing to worry about concerning the Grimm. When they feed on my enemies, all the better. But why are you complaining? Grimm outbreaks are_ great  _for_ your  _business."  
_  
"I, and all other Huntsman and Huntresses are sworn to protect humanity. The money _does not matter."_  Ozpin rebuked. "And it is not simply your enemies are suffering. With your conquest of the SDC, are their people not  _your_ people now?"  
  
Jack waved his hand from side to side.  _"Ehh, I was gonna get around to calling some of your guys for clean up. Eventually."_ He appeared to consider for a moment.  _"When it stopped being funny."  
_  
Ozpin's cold glare was answer enough.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes.  _"Fine. Send your guys in and take it up with billing. Was that all?"  
_  
"No." Ozpin replied more calmly than he felt. "The renewed hostility with Atlas-"  
  
 _"I think you should stop right there. Your vaunted 'neutrality' is already teetering on the edge, ain't it? Ever since you got your guy Ironwood as head of Atlas, everyone's eyeing you a bit differently lately."_ He said with a smirk.  
  
Ozpin chose his words carefully. "Atlas was in chaos after you assassinated their board of directors. It was their  _successors_ who asked for recommendations as to who they could bring on to put out the fires. I wasn't in the room at the time, but many of my associates pointed them towards James. He  _was_ the obvious choice with him  _originally_ being from Atlas, and leading countless successful IHA campaigns."  
  
Jack's eyes narrowed _"Y'know what, Oz? Let's skip the dance and weave. I_ know  _you got Ironwood in there on purpose, just like_ you  _know I'm letting SDC citizens get the shit end of the Grimm-stick because... well. Because it's frickin'_ hilarious. _So how about we cut to what you're_ really  _calling me about."_  
  
Ozpin inhaled deeply. "Very well, Jack. I know you're working with  _her."_  
  
Jack's smug smirk froze on his face.  
  
"You must know that this is a  _phenomenally_ bad idea. Whatever she's offering you, it  _will not_ be what you want it to be." Ozpin said honestly. "If you go down this road, Hyperion may very well not  _survive._ She will destroy anything in order to achieve her goals., and what she destroys, more often than not, is her  _allies."_  
  
 _"I know what I'm doing, Ozzy."_ Jack said coolly, sliding his hands into his pockets.  _"There isn't a wild filly out there that can't be broken in by a stern hand and a soft touch."  
_  
Ozpin sat back, face beginning to dawn in horror. "For the love of the Gods, please tell me you don't talk to her like that."  
  
Jack quickly glanced at his watch, a device that Ozpin's intelligence agents informed him was a device to counteract any surveillance devices both within hardware and software of these interstellar calls. Satisfied, he returned his attention to the man before him.  _"It's fine. She'd laugh."  
  
"She really, really wouldn't." _Ozpin replied with complete sincerity.  
  
Jack sighed loudly.  _"Look,_ Ozma. _I can personally assure you that know what I'm doing. And seeing as how this conversation is becoming increasingly tedious, I'm gonna hang up now. Buh-bye."  
_  
With a brief flash across his hologram, the call disconnected and Jack disappeared from view.  
  
"I truly, truly hate that man." Ozpin sighed as he brought his face into his hands and rubbed his temples. Hearing the click-clack of approaching high heels, he turned to the darker corner of his office. "I take it you listened in?"  
  
"I don't know why you even  _tried_ to reason with that maniac." Replied a beautiful blonde haired woman wearing glasses and a rather tight, darkly colored business suit. In her hands, she held an  _actual_ riding crop.  
  


_**GLYNDA GOODWITCH** _

_**Totally not a dominatrix. We think.** _

  
"One must never deliberately miss an opportunity to give peace a chance." Ozpin said as he regained his composure. "I knew the chances were slim, but I owed it to my conscience to at least have tried."  
  
"But we're already subverting his efforts." Glynda said as she raised a brow.  
  
"Still," He shrugged as he leaned back into his chair. "Diplomacy never hurts."  
  
Glynda clicked her tongue. "Well, now that it's now out of the way, what's the next step? Helping get Angel to Pandora was an... odd move. But I understand that you're seeing the board from a different angle, so I didn't object."  
  
Ozpin smiled. "Oh, with Angel, there is no plan."  
  
"... Pardon?"  
  
"I learned a long, long,  _long_ time ago that Sirens do not mix well with any attempts to involve them in any form of long term plans. They are essentially  _chaos_ magnets. Sixty years ago, I once tried to arrange a rescue for a thirteen year old Siren in Maliwan who was being exploited. She ended up setting the capitol on fire and stole a space yacht so she could go see a pop star's concert. Ended up being one of my more valuable agents."  
  
"But Angel-"  
  
"Is a particularly valuable dice that has been thrown. She seems like a nice girl, I'll trust in whatever she's planning for the Vault."  
  
"... So there's no actual plan?"  
  
Ozpin hummed noncommittally. "There's an overall  _goal,_  but the key is to be highly adaptable to whatever our opponents are doing. I'm very much  _done_  being caught flatfooted every time  _she_ comes up with a new horror to throw at humanity."  
  
"But... what  _are_ we doing next?"  
  
Ozpin twitched his finger over the table, bringing up a holographic screen with various names, locations, and probability formulas streaming past. He smiled. "Ah! Good timing! An opportunity has presented itself. Contact Qrow and Mordecai, tell them they are are to find and protect the wife of Jacques Schnee, Willow."  
  
~~~~~  
  
 _A/N: So... think I made up for the lack of action in the Yellow trailer? Good, 'cause next chapter's gonna be a shorter talky one. Also, someone remind me not to do this much action for one chapter ever again. Because this was A LOT for me.  
  
If this feels disjointed, just point it out to me so I can fix it, because I wrote it in bits and pieces and not in any order. Fight scenes are just... hard for me to do any other way._  
  
 _Next Chapter: Getting to know each other, and the age old question: Ever Wonder Why We're Here?_


	6. Breakfast and Plotting

Angel wrung her hands nervously. "So, you all probably want-"  
  
_"Siren."_ Ruby blurted.  
  
Angel smiled. "Yes, I was going to get to tha-"  
  
Ruby stabbed her finger forward. "You're a  _Siren?!"  
_  
"... Yes?" She replied hesitantly.  
  
"A Siren surrounded by piles of food. That's pretty on-brand in my experience." Yang commented as she retracted Ember Celica into their standby mode.  
  
"Yes! The food!" Angel gestured around her to the breakfast she had prepared. "Please, help yourselves!"  
  
_"I have all the questions."_ Ruby said as Yang gently pushed her sister towards a dining table.  
  
The interior of the building was pleasantly decorated with portraits of flowers, wooden chairs and tables craved with with fancy patterns, and little sconces with those little faux candles that are actually flame shaped bulbs. There was even carpeting depicting star patterns. The four Huntresses seated themselves at the table nearest to where Angel was cooking.  
  
"Hope you don't mind, but I looked up your social media histories to find out what you all would like." Angel announced as she hurriedly set a plate of chocolate chip waffles in front of Ruby, a plate with a large omelette for Weiss, an entire smoked salmon was set in front of a deeply eager Blake, and a small platter of bacon and scrambled eggs were handed to Yang.  
  
"Your tribute is acceptable." Blake said before she immediately tore into the fish.  
  
Angel settled in at the table with her own plate of pancakes. Folding her hands she put on her best Team Building Meeting smile. (A Hyperion copyright.) "So, lets all get to why I brought you all here. The Vaults."  
  
"Yeah!" Ruby jumped in. "Do they haunt your dreams too? And- wait. Did you say 'Vaults,' as in plural?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. The First Humans left behind literally  _dozens_ of their super Vaults that pocket into the E-verse, where liquid Eridium fills all space." Angel spread her hands wide, and holoscreens projected from small wristbands. The screens displayed Eridian ruins on a variety of of worlds, most prominently showing narrow arches glowing with purple lines. "However, the one on Pandora is arguably the most important."  
  
"Question." Yang raised her hand, brows raised. "Where're you getting your information? My Dad and I researched pretty much all that we could regarding the Vault, Sirens and everything associated with them. What we found amounted to a series of half-competently written ECHOpedia articles."  
  
"Oh... well." Angel looked deeply uncomfortable. "Until recently, I was... I was forced to work for Hyperion."  
  
There was a brief moment of silence, then Weiss drew Myrtenaster out and calmly laid it on the table. Tenting her fingers in front of her face, she simply said, "Continue."  
  
"You could say I was just... kind of born into the company." Angel looked down, hands folded in her lap. "My parents kept my Siren status secret for a time, then- I... I had an incident. My powers flared out of control and I... I accidentally short-circuited my mother's neural implants. She died."  
  
Ruby's face paled. "... Oh."  
  
Yang sighed and shook her head. "Yeah. I lost count of all the times Ruby almost killed us when she was really little with a  _sneeze."  
_  
Weiss cocked a brow. "A... sneeze?"  
  
"Thousands of razor sharp rose petals swarming a room in less than a second." Yang replied dryly. "Not fun. Me and my Dad learned keep shield units on us at all times. But we stuck it out, and we haven't had a single regret in having her in our lives."  
  
"Aww, Yang." Ruby beamed.  
  
Angel smiled warmly, and noticed Weiss kept her gaze on her hands. "I wish my family had been like yours." Her smile faded, and a more melancholic expression crossed her face. "After my mother... passed, my  _father_ decided the best use of my abilities was to serve as his own super computer to fast track himself up the corporate ladder."  
  
"What  _can_ you do, other than ECHO-show level hacking?" Blake asked, professionally removing fish flesh from bone.  
  
Angel grimaced. "My Siren abilities are... complicated and hard to explain, but I'll try anyway. I can interact with Eridian-based technology on a fundamentally higher level than anyone else in the universe. And seeing as how pretty much all tech used today is based on E-code... it kinda leaves a lot of doors open for me."  
  
Weiss raised a hand. "So... you're telling me that until recently, Hyperion had someone that could access any system in the universe anytime she wished?"  
  
Angel shifted in her chair with clear shame. "Provided it's not on a closed network...pretty much, yeah."  
  
Weiss breathed in a long breath through her nose, and released it through her mouth. "That explains a great deal about how Hyperion has been so  _entirely_ successful with their expansion efforts. They were always a step ahead because they already  _knew_  what steps everyone else were taking. That's just... perfect. The SDC never stood a chance."  
  
Ruby reached over to rub her new friend's shoulder. "That's rough, gal pal."  
  
_"Gal pal?"_ Yang snorted.  
  
"I'm trying out affectionate nicknames for our new ally and friend!" Ruby pouted.  
  
"It didn't work." Blake commented bluntly. "Unless you were trying to stake a clai-"  
  
_"Anyway."_ Weiss interrupted firmly and loudly. "I presume you're independent of Hyperion now? And you're going to tell us why the Vault is so important?"  
  
"Yes, and yes!" Angel said completely relieved to get back to what the meeting was about. "I  _am_  completely free and clear of Hyperion now- I made  _sure_ of it. As for the Vault..."  
  
Angel adjusted the two bracelets on her wrists to project new screens. They depicted a snowing clearing on top of a a mountain, surrounded by time-worn Eridian ruins, faintly glowing blue and purple. "I already know where it is."  
  
Blake cocked a brow. "Looks... broken."  
  
Angel nodded. "It's...  _physical_ form may be the worse for wear, but I assure you, it is entirely functional."  
  
"The last time humanity found Eridian ruins like this, we gained FTL technology." Weiss commented. "No telling what could be in there."  
  
Blake's squinted her eyes, and leaned back in her chair. "Did you just say it's 'physical' form? Implying there's more to it?"  
  
Angel grimaced. "To build the Vaults, as I mentioned before, the Eridian's hammered their way into the- lack of a better term- _E-verse_ for it's  _literally infinite_ supply of Eridium. To do this, they had to break the laws of physics in a way that they would  _stay_  broken on fixed locations for the rest of eternity. This is about as difficult and  _ridiculous_ to try to understand as it sounds, even when I had a series of Hyperion supercomputers boosting my brain."  
  
Ruby nodded sagely. "Space wizards cast space magic for space magic Vaults. I get it."  
  
Yang nodded in agreement as Weiss put her face into her palm. Blake set aside the desecrated remnants of the salmon and pulled forth some of the bacon from Yang's plate onto hers. (Yang let this egregious breakfast offense pass without comment, showing her  _limitless_ mercy.) They were okay. She was mainly just enjoying the opportunity to let herself become submerged in the atmosphere of  _actual people_ for the first time in years.  
  
"Sure, why not?" Angel said, bemused. "No worse than anything I came up with. Anyway, knowing the location is honestly the easy part. It's  _activating_ the thing that's going to need a bit of work."  
  
The holoscreen then shifted to a strange cone, glowing with Eridian scribbles. (Look that's just what Eridian script looks like, okay?)  
  
"This is the Vault key. And I have no idea where it is." Angel sighed.  
  
"Looks like a sex toy." Yang pointed out.  
  
"Yang!" Ruby gasped.  
  
"Really?" Weiss groaned.  
  
"I wasn't going to say it, but..." Blake made a gesture with her hands that would bump up this fic's maturity rating if it was fully described.  
  
Angel suppressed a smile. "I do have a lead on  _how_  we could find the key, but it means crawling into one of Atlas' abandoned R&D facilities. Supposedly, they were working on something that could home in on E-tech. It's called Project Compass, and I need you all to retrieve it."  
  
Weiss inhaled sharply. "An Atlas base. Even abandoned, the defenses will be..."  
  
"Hardcore." Yang finished for her.  
  
"Sounds fun!" Ruby beamed.  
  
Blake began to count on her fingers. "We'll need vehicles, ammo, mods, shields, food, Insta-Health's, and money. Like, a lot of money."  
  
Weiss leveled a look at Angel. "Yes, money. Speaking of compensation..."  
  
"Not a problem at all." The Siren assured. "I've already seen to deleting the Bounty Board's records on you four, and have already deposited one hundred thousand dollars in some new accounts I've set up for you."  
  
There was a long silence at the table until Weiss broke it. "... How?"  
  
"I kind of... made my  _own_  corporation, after...  _securing_  some seed money from Hyperion." Angel smiled as she displayed a holoscreen declaring the name  _Guardian Angels Incorporated.  
_  
"Wait...  _how_ much money did you get?" Yang asked with a quirked brow.  
  
"Just a few hundred... billion." Angel said as she wrung her hands. "Anyway! Our company will of course be devoted to finding and dealing with the Vaults, but I also want us to spend effort on helping people with problems that only a Huntsman or Huntress could aid them with."  
  
"The IHA already does that." Blake commented, having grown bored with the bacon, and went to retrieve another smoked salmon out of the kitchen and proceeded to do unspeakable things to it.  
  
"The IHA is fantastic and _necessary_ for humanity's survival, but they have a tendency to focus on Grimm to the exclusion of  _all_ else." Angel frowned. "I'm talking about helping all sorts of people with  _all sorts_  of problems. Here let me show you my charts-"  
  
"Dial it back. You stole  _how much from Hyperion?"_ Weiss interrupted, face pale- well,  _pale-r.  
_  
"A... few hundred billion." Angel smiled weakly. "It's fine! They make eighty quadrillion quarterly! They lose money like this all the time to embezzling executives, market fluctuations, exploding colonies, and a whole host of other costs of doing business as an interstellar mega-corporation!"  
  
Weiss breathed in deeply and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "On the one hand, I think inconveniencing the people who literally stole my family's company and becoming deeply rich from it is  _fantastic._  On the  _other_  hand, I  _just_  escaped from Hyperion after they fully retaliated against the SDC for my father's poor business strategies."  
  
"Don't worry, Weiss!" Ruby slapped her on the back. "I've lived with a target literally tattooed on my body my whole life, and I'm fine!"  
  
"Source?" Yang mumbled between munching slices of bacon.  
  
"I... oh, never mind. Any port in a storm." Weiss sighed. "Please, continue."  
  
"Anyway," Angel interjected, hoping to get the impromptu meeting back on track. "To find Project Compass, we're going to need to build a friendly relationship with Pandora's people. By doing that, we'll be doing lots of little side jobs to help the more stable residents out. What I was trying to get out  _before_  is that we can do lots of things that make peoples lives easier. Like reconnecting the power supply to a lot of places the wildlife have habitually interfered with. Or clearing out Grimm in places where people don't want them. Which is everywhere and anywhere, really."  
  
"Pretty much, yeah." Ruby nodded. "So how're the people of Pandora going to get us into the base?"  
  
"Pandora is jam packed with disgruntled ex-corporate employees. Someone's  _bound_  to have security access lying around somewhere that we can barter for." Angel explained.  
  
"That still leaves us with taking on an Atlas base in defense mode." Blake interjected. "And speaking from experience, that is as close to suicide as you can get without an orbital bombardment backing you up."  
  
"Well..." Weiss thought for a bit. "At least it's not a Tediore base?"  
  
Yang grimaced. "Ugh. Don't remind me. Creepy clone-slave armies."  
  
"I'll supply you as best I can." Angel promised. "After all, I bought this whole place and all the resources that go with it. We can figure it out."  
  
Ruby blinked. "Do you mean this building or... did you buy the whole town?"  
  
The other Siren's cheeks turned rosy red. "No, no. I mean that I bought this place I mean that I...  _bought Pandora."_  
  
"... What?" Yang asked, not quite sure she heard that right.  
  
Angel smiled shyly. "I bought the planetary deed from DAHL. Seeing how badly things went for them the last time they tried to settle this place, they set a pretty reasonable deal. Only fifty million! And then I also had to buy all the other little islands and continents the  _other_ corporations were leasing. That ran me up another twenty million."  
  
"You bought an entire planet... for just seventy million." Yang said, trying to wrap her mind around it.  
  
"It's Pandora." Weiss drawled. "I doubt she had to twist  _anyone's_ arm."  
  
"After living here for two years, I can honestly say that I would have  _paid her_ to take it." Blake chimed in.  
  
"Come to think of it, the DAHL sales rep  _was_  pretty eager..." Angel frowned, and then put a smile back on. "So with questions of getting paid and equipped out of the way, will you all be willing to work for me and open the Vault?"  
  
"Absolutely!" Ruby exclaimed. "A daring quest! Helping people out,  _and_ making money doing it! It's all I've ever wanted to do!"  
  
"I'm in." Yang chimed in. "No way am I letting my little sister face Pandora without me. And my ship needs money for repairs. Badly."  
  
"Count me in as well." Blake said as she leaned back in her chair. "On conditions we can discuss later in private. There are some people I need to be safe, and there are some people I need to be dead."  
  
"Very well?" Angel replied, hoping she would not regret it. "Weiss? Is this agreeable to you?"  
  
"I have one last question." Weiss said, as she tapped her fingers on the table. "Why do  _you_ want to open the Vault?"  
  
Angel's smile faded, and she looked distant, yet... determined. "Because I need to pick up every weapon I can to stop Handsome Jack, and if I don't start unlocking the secrets of the Eridians,  _he will._ And a man like that must  _never_  have that kind of power."  
  
A slow, dark smile spread across Weiss's face. She extended her hand across the table to Angel, and the puzzled Siren took it in her own and shook it. "We're friends now. I'm in."  
  
"That's a relief." Angel breathed. Then her expression shifted to a happier one. "Before I forget, here are your new company ECHO decks."  
  
With a wave of her hand, four mini computers the size of a fully extended scroll digistructed in front of their plates. Ruby gasped.  
  
"Holy crap! We get ECHO decks?! Why didn't you lead with that?!" Yang exclaimed.  
  
"These are supposedly pretty valuable, right? Never had one of my own before." Blake asked as she inspected the new device.  
  
"They can digistruct matter into digital memory, and you can shove it in your  _pocket._  They cost three times more than  _my ship."_ Yang explained gleefully.  
  
"And if you look, you'll see I already put in something for you all." Angel said as they all digistructed four additional pieces of tech with belt clips and indented emitters. "These are new generation shields, so you can use them  _with_ your Aura instead of having to pick one over the other."  
  
Yang snorted as she took the proffered unit and clipped it to her belt. "Heh. Reminds me of what our Uncle Qrow used to call Hunters who used shields  _exclusively_ so they could turbo-boost their semblances with the extra Aura."  
  
"Yang." Ruby warned flatly as she took her own.  
  
"What did he call them?" Weiss asked out of curiosity.  
  
"Dead!" Yang replied cheerfully.  
  
"He's not wrong." Blake said, attaching her own unit.  
  
"Thank you, Angel. On behalf of all of us." Ruby said with a forced smile.  
  
Angel smiled widely. "It's no trouble at all. Now, I should probably introduce you all to your local guide." She tapped a button on her bracelet and spoke into it. "Come on in, old friend."  
  
The door to the Bed and Breakfast swung open, revealing a bright, happy looking, boxy yellow robot with one wheel, one eye, and two little arms.  
  


**_CLAPTRAP_ **

**_Ex-Robolutionary. Current Door Opener._ **

  
"Helloooooo, travelers!" The cheerful robot exclaimed in greeting.  
  
"CLAPTRAP UNIT! KILL IT!" Ruby shouted as all four Huntresses sprang to their feet, weapons ready.  
  
"Oh, dear." Angel groaned.  
  
*****  
  
Dionysus-7  
  
One of the Sadder Motels.  
  
*****  
  
A middle aged man dressed like a boy half his age, with the addition of a little cape, was peacefully passed out on top of what he had  _hoped_ was the cleaner side of the motel's heavily used bed. He scratched his unshaven face idly as a figure slipped into his room. His slumber was soon ended as the intruder jabbed a syringe full of bright yellow liquid into his neck.  
  
Eyes shooting  _wide open_ , he leapt to his feet and grabbed a sword that had been by his bed, and slashed at the area the figure that had stabbed him had been.  
  
His movement came to a stop as the figure gave a familiar laugh. Straightening up, he scowled as he recognized the syringe in the other man's hand. "Dammit, Mordy. I told you to never hit me with an Insta-Sober ever again."  
  


**_Qrow Branwen_ **

**_Not a Morning Guy_ **

  
The figure stepped into what little light there was inside the room, revealing a shabbily dressed man with darker skin and... well, a weird bondage mask thing with goggles. (No one knows what  _that's_ about.) "Pack your stuff, amigo. Old Man Oz has a job for us. Priority one. Search and rescue."  
  


**_Mordedcai_ **

**_That One Friend. You know the one._ **

  
A strange bat-hawk creature suddenly started tapping on the outside of the window of the room with it's beak. It looked simultaneously stoic and impatient.  
  


**_Bloodwing_ **

**_Let's face it, the only responsible adult out of these three._ **

  
"We leave in an hour." Mordecai said as he opened the window to let his little friend in.  
  
Qrow rubbed his eyes. "What job? Where we goin', and who're we savin'?"  
  
Mordy smiled without any humor. "SDC homeworld. We're bustin' out Willow Schnee, daughter of ol' Nick himself."  
  
"Huh..." Qrow mumbled as he sought out his boots. "Thought she gave up her claim to the company to her husband."  
  
Mordecai shrugged. "Oz says she's going to be key in screwing over Handsome Jack, so that's enough reason for me to dive in and scoop 'er out."  
  
Qrow, having located his left boot searched for it's mate. He began to suspect it had fallen into some pocket universe out of human percep-  _oh, wait. there it is._ "And Hyperion is still...?"  
  
"Oh, they're dug way the hell in. Oz got us a ride with a buncha other Hunters that are gonna lend the locals some Grimm relief."  
  
"Hnn." Qrow grunted as he fished out a corrosion mod out of his pocket and inserted it into his sword. Just in case.  
  
"Glynda says for us to do it as quietly as we can, and if we get caught we're disavowed. Y'know... the usual."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, if we get spotted; we don't leave any witnesses. I got it." Qrow grumbled as he started getting the rest of his things into his go-bag.  
  
"Just don't go blowin' up Hyperion bots prematurely, yeah? Your startin' to make  _me_  look the responsible one."  
  
Bloodwing cawed in agreement.  
  
Qrow rolled his eyes. "Yes,  _mother._ You can relax. It's just  _one_ person we're rescuing. What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
Bloodwing's beak dropped open.  
  
Mordecai was silent for a long moment before he could respond. "... I think I'm legally allowed to shoot you now."  
  
_*****  
  
Next Chapter: ADVENTURING AND LOOTING_


	7. Grinding and Looting

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, NICE LADIES!" Pleaded Claptrap as he rolled for his very life.  
  
"Don't fall for the act! He'll turn us into dancing robo-zombies!" Yang yelled as she fired off a round from Ember Celica. Claptrap cried in terror as he dodged.  
  
"Please, stop!" Angel shouted from the door. "It's okay! I reprogrammed this one myself!"  
  
Crescent Rose's swing halted a few centimeters short of Claptrap's single eye. Ruby flashed an apprehensive look to her fellow Siren. "You sure? Even before they all went nuts, these things were  _really_ disaster prone."  
  
"Yes.  _Exactly."_ Weiss chimed in, Myrtenaster still at the ready. "There's a reason Hyperion shut the  _entire_ line down."  
  
"I remember when Menagerie installed one of these things to be a tour guide at our first hydro-electric dam. Fourteen people drowned." Blake commented, ears flat against her skull as Gambol Shroud was aimed right at Claptrap's tire.  
  
"One time! One time! We have a hard time resisting levers and buttons, okay?!" Claptrap cried.  
  
"Okay, I did a  _lot_ of reprogramming." Angel sighed. "I have  _extensively_  reformatted the base code. Which... wasn't hard, seeing as how it was never technically finished in the first place."  
  
"Hmm... all right. I'm gonna choose to trust Angel on this one. Stand down, girls." Ruby said as she collapsed her scythe. The other three followed her lead.  
  
"Oh, good! We can all be pals now!" Claptrap wiped an imaginary bead of sweat from his brow flap. "Allow me to introduce myself! I am Claptrap Prime! I'll be your own personal steward bot! I'll open locked doors, access restricted systems, and be your ECHO-fi beacon so you'll never lose your connection to the ECHOnet ever again!"  
  
There was a moment of silence, then everyone looked to Angel, who smiled sheepishly. "I also made a whole bunch of modifications. No matter where you go on Pandora, you can use Claptrap's channels to stay in contact with me."  
  
The little robot brought his clamp-hand to his voice modulator and loudly whispered to Ruby, "I also have this  _neato_ thing called VaultHunter.EXE that is totally rad and-"  
  
 _"No."_  Angel said firmly. "Please, do not  _ever_ give him have access to that. At  _best,_  the results are chaotic."  
  
"What does it do?" Yang asked warily.  
  
"It lets me be  _super_ awesome!" Claptrap cheerfully replied.  
  
"It's still part of your bugged programming, which I quarantined for a  _reason,_ buster!" Angel stomped her foot. She composed her self and addressed her Vault Huntresses. "It's... well. Before Handsome Jack became CEO, he used his position in Hyperion's CL4P-TP service channel to take a Claptrap he was supposed to debug, and basically gave it a full combat suite."  
  
Blake nodded in understanding. "Ah, no wonder he became a psychopathic megalomaniac. Having to debug Hyperion's disaster robots would do that to anyone."  
  
"Hey, I was programmed with  _feelings,_ y'know!" Claptrap slumped in a full body pout.  
  
 _"Actually, I would argue Jack was an evil piece of scum long before that, but that's not important right now."_  Angel murmured under her breath. "But yeah,  _this_ Claptrap unit, and some others, helped Jack open a Vault. It's why I sought out, repaired, and upgraded this one. He's actually been  _inside_ one."  
  
"There were so many buttslams!" Claptrap commented, hopping up and down as if to demonstrate. "And a big- ERROR: MEMORY NOT FOUND." Claptrap went momentarily stiff, and then went back to his happy pacing self.  
  
"Jack also erased a lot of his more sensitive memories. I might be able to recover them further down the line, but it's a work in progress." Angel grimaced. "Anything he can tell us would probably be helpful as we seek out our own Vault."  
  
"Yeah." Ruby rubbed the back of her neck. "How soon should we get started on this whole Vault Hunting thing?"  
  
"There's some more things we should cover before you head out. But you can rest for the rest of the morning, and I can introduce you to our first lead around noon."  
  
"That soon?" Weiss asked with a raised brow.  
  
"Pandora has a ninety hour day cycle, so it's gonna be morning for quite a bit longer." Angel shrugged. "The Bed and Breakfast has blackout windows if you need to sleep, don't worry."  
  
"Um, what else did we need to cover?" Ruby interjected.  
  
"The digistruct vendors." Angel said as she drew their attention to a building with a series vending machines underneath an overhang. One proclaimed itself to be an AMMO DUMP, another called itself ZED MEDS, the next one was MARCUS MUNITIONS, and finally MOD GODS. "When DAHL pulled out, they left behind their entire digistruct network. The natives have been using it ever since. There are additional ones inside some of the restaurant buildings that even do food. Apparently food can never go bad in digi-space,"  
  
"Just ignore the odd tentacle growing out of your veggies." Yang whispered to the rest.  
  
"That's how I survived on the island." Blake added. "The vending machines there still had canned goods in the system to supply the workers for years."  
  
"The vast majority of Pandora's infrastructure is based on what DAHL left behind." Angel nodded. "There's even a Fast Travel network still operating, but you need to physically go to a station before it will allow you to teleport through."  
  
"That would be because they require to analyze your entire being before use. A safety feature more than anything else." Said Weiss, the student who perpetually raises her hand first in class.  
  
"Which brings me to how you'll be getting around Pandora whenever I presume you're not flying around in Yang's ship." Angel motioned them to follow her to an old mechanic's garage down the street.  
  
Yang raised a finger. "Speaking of which-"  
  
"Your ship parked itself behind the Bed and Breakfast." Angel quickly assured. "But I wouldn't recommend flying it around too much. A lot of Bandits have secured DAHL's old anti-aircraft weaponry. Which is why I've secured a partnership with the local owner of the vehicle digistruction network. He was rather  _eager_  to be free of any of DAHL's lingering claims to the system he leeches off of. So eager that he even offered to... to..."  
  
"Angel?" Ruby quirked a brow.  
  
"He's given us all subscriptions to... to.." Angel sighed, and abandoned dignity.  _"Scooter's Bitchin' Catch-A-Premium Super Service."_  
  
Silence.  
  
"... It's a service that allows a lot of above-and-beyond types of customization. Weapons, engine types, hover units, magnetic wheels, all kinds of paint jobs, and options for future improvement."  
  
"Nice." Yang grinned. "I don't suppose I could get my bike some lovin', could I?"  
  
"Just get it scanned into the Catch-A-Ride system, and the sky's the limit." Angel stopped in front of a heavily armored computer terminal attached to two car lifts. "You can play with the settings at one of these stations whenever you want. But, I think it would be a good idea if you got yourselves settled in first. I mean, I did choose an upscaled Bed and Breakfast for a  _reason,_  you know."  
  
"I'm always down for a power-nap.  _Always."_  Blake said with unusual intensity.  
  
Yang nodded. "Would be nice to sleep on something that's not a ship bunk. Or a horse statue."  
  
Ruby looked puzzled. "Wha-?"  
  
"Don't worry about it."  
  
"Some decompression time sounds... lovely." Weiss sighed.  
  
"Onwards, then!" Declared Ruby. "Towards down time!"  
  
As Angel watched them head back to the bed and breakfast, she smiled giddily and hopped in place a bit. Under her breath, she whispered, "Operation: Make Real Friends is a go."  
  
*****  
  
As Yang, Blake, and Angel went off to their own rooms, Weiss stayed behind in the lobby/diner. She rubbed her eyes tiredly as Ruby halted and gave a comforting smile.  
  
"Long day for you, right?"  
  
Weiss nodded. "Yes, very much so, yes. But I'm also hesitant about this whole thing."  
  
Ruby cocked a brow. "Is this about Hyperion?"  
  
"Yes!" Weiss threw up her hands. "I know they already want me dead, and to claim my drone. But now we're working for a Siren that they lost! It's only a matter of time before we have to deal with their response!"  
  
Ruby planted her tattooed arm across the former heiress' shoulder. "And when it comes, we'll deal with it as we would any other problem."  
  
Weiss warily looked Ruby in the eye. "Deal with it  _how?"_  
  
"With lots, and lots, and lots of ultra-violence." Ruby said confidently.  
  
"... I'll take your word for it." Weiss sighed. "Lets take a short rest. Then we'll see what the first step towards this Project Compass is going to be."  
  
The two wandered off to their own rooms to decompress and prepare, all the while unknowing how  _right_ Ruby was going to be.  
  
*****  
  
As Yang settled in to her new room, she quickly began the age old human tradition of looking in every drawer and cabinet and seeing what goodies were inside. She found to the room to be built in a comfortingly wooden panel style, which must have been expensive for a world as arid as Pandora. The Bed was stocked with fluffy pillows and cotton sheets, and the walls were plastered in happy looking star patterns. And, oddly enough, there were  _unlocked safes. W_ ith  _cash_  inside them. Which quickly became  _Yang's_ cash.  
  
Yang decided to take a nap for a couple hours, which went by quickly enough until there was a knocking at her door. After a quick stretch, she walked over to answer it, only to find Blake now clad in a nice sarong, sheepishly holding the borrowed pants.  
  
"Here's your pants back." She said as she handed the folded trousers to Yang. "Thanks, and uh, you were right, they were pretty tight."  
  
Yang scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "Yeah, to be honest, they're a little small on me too. But hey, you're rocking that skirt."  
  
Blake smiled. "Oh, yeah. Definite improvement over just wearing bikini bottoms. I'll have to thank your sister. Again."  
  
"We could always get you a new outfit at a quick-change station. Or at the very least, buy you some sunscreen." Yang shrugged.  
  
"Hmm, digistructed clothes tend to destroy the original, and this outfit was a gift..." Blake grimaced. "And, well, I don't have a lot of friends left from where I came from to get rid of it without feeling guilty. Even though I've worn the heck out of it."  
  
"Yeah, I can understand that." Yang moved towards the bed and slumped down on it. "So once we pop open the Vault, what's your plan going forward."  
  
"I would sincerely like to go anywhere that isn't Pandora." Blake said seriously. "And after that... well, I should probably reconnect with my parents and some... other people. I left a lot of things unsaid and undone before I got stranded here."  
  
"Heh, I can get that. I guess after two years here, you're pretty tired of this world." Yang speculated as she watched her new friend lean against the doorway.  
  
"Oh, you have no idea." Blake rubbed her eyes. "The environment on this world is  _insane._  In all the time that I've been here, I haven't encountered a single example of an herbivorous species. It's like everything here exists for the sole purpose of killing and eating everything else. Hell, even some of the  _plants_  will try to kill you. Oh, and there may even be  _rock monsters,_  but I've never encountered them."  
  
"Eh, I reckon we can take anything ol' Pandora can throw at us." Yang bragged as she posed with her impressive arms flexed.  
  
"Heh," Blake laughed uncomfortably. "Wait until you meet the varkids."  
  
"The what now?" Yang raised a brow.  
  
"Varkids." Blake grimaced. "Bugs that start out the size of dogs, then cover themselves in a pod that forces a metamorphosis that turns them into  _flying_ bugs that are the size of ponies. Then they do it  _again_  to become  _bigger_ more heavily armored flying bugs the size of a moose. And they can spit acid."  
  
Yang deflated just a smidge. "... Well. Getting my ships FTL drive replaced and getting off this planet just became a higher priority."  
  
"Please, take me with you." Blake begged with a smile.  
  
*****  
  
When the four reconvened in the dining area, Angel smiled widely trying not to overly show her excitement. "Okay, everyone! Now we can get started on on getting to Project Compass. Our first client is a man who managed to scavenge a security card to the facility we need to access."  
  
She gestured to the center of the table where a holo-projector sat. As it sprang to life, it showed a thin man of strange proportions with a peg leg, goggles, and dressed in a Hawaiian t-shirt. He had an easy grin and rather pleasant demeanor.  _"Howdy there, folks! Nice to see ya! Got some work if you got the time!"_  
  


**_T.K. BAHA_ **

**_Can't let life getcha down._ **

  
_"Get it? 'See ya?' 'Cause I'm blind?"_ Uncomfortable silence.  _"Huh, guess it was higher brow than I thought. Anyhoo, I heard over the Pandora chat rooms that y'all want to get into that old Atlas facility, and I just so happen to have a security card that'll get you past the security gates and into the first couple levels. Any further than that and you're on your own. Now, if you want this thing I'd be happy to hand it over, so long as you kill this one jerk of a skag that done ate my leg,_ and  _my wife! Heh heh, yep! That sure was a bad day!"  
_  
Ruby's mouth dropped. "Your wife  _and_  your leg? I am... so sorry-"  
  
 _"Heh heh! And when I went to exact vengeance for my wife and leg, he then used his acid puke to blind me! That was the end of that dream! Boy, I sure didn't_ see _that one coming!"_ Still no laughter. _"Aww, shucks, maybe that joke just ain't for everyone! Oh, well!"  
_  
Yang sidled up to her sister, spun her finger around her temple, and mouthed the words  _Pandorans are crazy.  
  
"Well, to summarize the ol' point here. I'm gonna need that rat bastard Scar dead before I can give you anything. Oh! And if you kill his whole dang pack, and recover my wife's pistol, I'll toss in some weapon mods from my old days in Hyperion R&D as a bonus! Long story."  
_  
"We accept!" Ruby exclaimed in a rush.  
  
 _"Hot dang! Lemme shoot ya the ol' coordinates in Skag Valley."  
_  
Blake quirked an eyebrow. "Looking for one particular skag in a place called Skag Valley? That'll be like finding a needle in a stack of needles."  
  
*****  
  
 _["Found him!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuAzPR0ACVw&list=PL65E33789AA7052BC&index=5&t=0s) _Blake screamed.  
  
"It's the size of a house! WHY IS IT THE SIZE OF A HOUSE?!" Yang shouted as she dodged a gigantic claw swipe.  
  
"IT HAS BABIES! I DON"T WANNA KILL BABIES!" Ruby cried as she was chased by a dozen skag pups.  
  
Weiss stood in the back, a safe enough distance away from the chaos, raining icicle spikes down when appropriate. "Must not form drinking habit. Genetic inclination would make it disastrous." She murmured.  
  
They had made their way to Skag Valley on foot, seeing as it was quite nearby. The four of them hadn't even been valley for an hour before they had stumbled upon a pack of skags. Only... apparently the skag packs in the valley had formed into  _one_  under the awesome might of Scar, who had evidently consumed enough meat to become a  _very_ big boy.  
  
After killing their way through a few dozen of the beasts, they had made it to his den inside a giant cavern. And that's where we are now.  
  
 _"Watch out! When some skags reach a certain age, they can fire lasers!"_ Angel said over the comm.  
  
Right on cue, Scar's mouth began to emit an eerie red light... and he was looking  _straight at Weiss._  
  
Weiss sighed in frustration. "Of course they can. Because  _Pandora."  
_  
Blake ran to her and dragged her out of the splash zone. "Finally! Someone  _understands!"_  
  
With a loud  _ZAM_ the earth behind them was baked to a crisp. Yang proceeded to take this time and launch herself into a shotgun laced punching spree right into Scar's hind legs. Scar  _did not care for that,_  and promptly kicked her into a cavern wall.  
  
Blake detached herself from Weiss and began to harass the beast with potshots while staying out of it's range. "Maybe we could focus on the big monster?" She shouted, keeping Scar distracted.  
  
"Oh, _okay!"_  Ruby exclaimed, closed her eyes, and swung Crescent Rose low and hard. She felt the weapon slice through multiple little bodies, and no longer heard the pitter patter of angry little monstrosities. Turning her focus to Scar,  _and trying very hard not to think about the dead skag pups,_ she quickly assessed the situation. "We need to get it's mouth open! Blake, tick him off and make him use his laser! Yang, we'll immobilize the legs! Weiss, do as much damage as you can when he's charging up!"  
  
"Gotcha!" Yang shouted as she once again went for the hind legs.  
  
As it flexed once again to kick her sister, Ruby's Siren tattoo's glowed as she  _rocketed_ toward Scar in a tornado of rose petals. Bursting back into existence underneath him, she summoned her petals to swarm about her scythe, making it into a hellish murder blender of razor sharp edges. She swung it wildly into the front legs as Yang hammered away at the back.  
  
Blake, for her part, took careful aim at Scar's eyes. After a few shots, Scar was evidently more furious at  _her_  than the two Huntresses turning his legs into hamburger. As his mouth opened she shouted, "Weiss! You're up!"  
  
Weiss calmly flicked two ice glyph's into the mouth, freezing the wide mouth open. The energy in gathered in his maw sputtered and died as he tried to chew the ice apart. Then she raised her pauldron encased arm, narrowed her eyes, and said,  _"Kalterwind. Attacke."_  
  
Kalterwind, hopping off her arm in murder-wasp mode, chirped happily at the prospect of murdering it's first organic victim.  
  
Thrashing against the Huntresses at his legs, and unsuccessfully still trying to shatter the ice holding his jaws open, Scar never noticed his attacker until it had launched itself into his mouth. Kalterwind then began his bloody work. With razor sharp appendages, he  _cut,_ he  _carved,_ and to everyone's horror, he began to  _dig himself in and-_  
  
 _-And I'm not nearly enough of a horror enthusiast to describe in full detail what the murderbot is doing. Oh, god! It's like Scar swallowed a power drill as it was ON!_  
  
"... That counts as my kill." Said Weiss, as the giant Skag mercifully stopped it's death throes and fell still.  
  
"That's... not something you see everyday." Yang said as she backed away, her face turning green.  
  
"Maybe  _you_  haven't." Blake said with the casual ease of someone who has been too traumatized to be  _too_ adversely affected by the random horrors of Pandora. "Let me tell you about the scythid/varkid war my island had this one time."  
  
"Is this a war crime? It feels like a war crime." Ruby groaned, shielding her eyes with her fingers.  
  
"I... don't think I'll use my drone on living targets. Ever again." Weiss composed herself and stuck her hand out towards the horror show.  _"Kalterwind.  
Rückkehr."_  
  
To everyone's discomfort, Kalterwind chose to drill himself out of Scar by way of his belly. As the little murderer came out, so too did the contents of the skag's stomach. A large portable toilet station clanged onto the dirt. As it's door flopped open, cash, various weapon mods, shields... and a  _particular_ pistol that flopped back into the toilet bowl amidst... various fluids. And things.  
  
Blake blinked. "Isn't that...?"  
  
"No." Weiss said firmly as she stared into the abyss of the outhouse.  
  
"But... it's the gun of Mr. Baha's wife _._ The one he  _specifically_ asked to us to get back." Ruby weakly protested as she made  _absolutely no move_ to retrieve it.  
  
"Even at my most desperate... I never sunk low enough to go toilet diving." Blake shuddered.  
  
"Anyone who tries to retrieve it will never be the same." Weiss said in quiet horror. "Sure, you could wash your hands, but you would always  _know."_  
  
Yang stepped forward and donned her sunglasses. "Step back, ladies. I have just the thing for this."  
  
Reaching into her storage deck, she digistructed a fishing pole with a thick disk on one end.  
  
"You still have that?" Ruby asked, standing aside.  
  
"Magnetic fishing lure! Nothing better for catching metal fish out of lava rivers." Yang smiled.  
  
"Metal fish?" Blake said in the tone of voice one reserves for someone who just blasphemed in a church.  
  
Yang reeled back the pole. "Oh, yeah, you can melt them down for some really neat sculpture work. I'll show you sometime." She let the line fly-  _or whatever the hell the fishing term is, I don't know. I don't do outside sport-_ and the magnet clanged against the pistols handle, and began to reel it in. "Now, we can wash this thing off with a hose and mail it back!"  
  
"And the money and other stuff?" Ruby asked,  _still_  making no effort to retrieve anything.  
  
Weiss grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to look her dead in the eye. "You leave it where it is! That's Pandora's property now!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"I don't think you're gonna win this one." Blake whispered in the Siren's ear.  
  
Ruby huffed, not really  _that_  disappointed. "Okay, lets just turn the mission in."  
  
The four Huntresses then set forth to return to homebase, with Yang dragging the gun at a distance with the pole they all felt comfortable with.  
  
And that was their first mission together as a real team, none of them knowing that it would only get  _weirder_ from here.  
  
 _*****  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: Begun, the fetch quest has._


	8. SIDESTORY: The Wild Wanderings of Willow PART 1

*******  
  
Mantle, homeworld of the SDC  
  
The tunnels beneath Schnee Manor  
  
*******  
  
Mordecai and Qrow walked through the dark corridors of the tunnels, keeping their eyes open for Grimm, Loaderbots, or any surviving SDC security measures. They two had smuggled themselves amidst the small fleet of Huntsman and Huntresses to Mantle that had come to fight the horrific Grimm outbreak following Hyperion's invasion. Much to both their chagrin, they had a mission to complete and could not spare the time to help put down the monsters. Instead, they had to find one Willow Schnee and escort her to safety, comparatively safer space of Atlas. Sneaking past Hyperion patrols, they had made their way here, to the strangely pristine escape tunnels beneath Schnee Manor.  
  
The walls glistened in a dull silvery chrome with engraved filigree, and to both Huntsman's surprise, had  _actual gems embedded into the design._ Both had looked each other, came to a silent agreement, and pried  _many_  of the stones out and pocketed them.  
  
"So how much further to the rendezvous coordinates? I think these tunnels go on for  _literal_ miles." Qrow groused.  
  
"They do. And if I read 'em right, should be a couple dozen feet ahead." Mordecai replied pointing ahead, keeping his other hand on the Jakobs revolver on his belt.  
  
Suddenly, right where Mordecai had pointed, the tunnel wall on the right hissed and came apart, revealing a door that had been seamlessly been hidden. A small, bald man in a sharp suit emerged. He acknowledged their presence with a polite nod and smile.  
  


**_KLEIN SIEBEN_ **

**_Going above and beyond the call of butlerhood._ **

  
"Gentlemen, greetings! My thanks for your timely arrival. I feared I would have to escort Lady Schnee to Atlas territory myself." He greeted. Then his eyes flashed to a different color and his demeanor changed to a more annoyed stance. "And only the  _gods_ know how I was gonna drag the soused  _fool_ through a Hyperion checkpoint."  
  
Qrow and Mordecai shared a quick glance. The man before them apparently suffered from Jekyll's Disease. This did not put them at ease.  
  
Qrow rolled his shoulders and broke the silence. "Nice to meet ya. Klein, right?"  
  
Klein's eyes flashed back to their previous color. "Yes, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I trust you've been duly notified about my lady's condition?"  
  
"Condition?" Mordecai asked warily.  
  
Klein winced. "Oh, dear. Well, the  _gist_ of it is that my lady was undergoing a surgery to replace her burnt out cybernetic liver with a fresh one while Hyperion attacked. Getting her to these tunnels was  _quite_ the ordeal. We had to wait until the operation was completed, and then I had to move her hoverbed to safer ground. And to be perfectly honest, during  _that_ not-brief-enough adventure, she took a few rounds from those awful Loaderbots."  
  
"And you jabbed her with a few Insta-Health's, right?" Qrow asked.  
  
Klein nodded. "Indeed."  
  
 _"Replacement_ cyborg liver?" Mordecai asked with with brows raised. "Man, not even  _we_ party that hard."  
  
"Yes, well... my lady has been overly indulging in her vices for a number of years." His yes flashed again. "That number bein'  _fifteen._  Guess who had to take care of her kids as she drank herself half to death." Another flash. "But now she may have a chance to fully recover! The new liver was specifically designed to counter Mrs. Schnee's more self destructive tendencies." Flash. "Much to her chagrin."  
  
"Got it. So are we gonna have to haul her out, or is she able to walk?" Qrow asked, eager to get this over with.  
  
"She will be!" Klein said in an odd accent. "She can be revived, only..." Flash. Klein fidgeted. "I must warn you, to keep her stable I had to use an Instant-Youth on her."  
  
Mordecai blinked behind his goggles. "Aren't those like... a fifty billion dollars a vial?"  
  
Qrow took a moment to mentally process that. An Instant-Youth was the ultimate status symbol among the ultra-rich. An almost  _impossible_ to obtain variation of the Insta-Health vials commonly sold everywhere in the galaxy. Only instead of simple healing, it repaired the entire human body on a cellular level, effectively  _reversing_  the ageing process to the point where the user had been in their physical prime. The big corporations, instead of letting this miracle technology slip into the masses, decided to keep it reserved for only the most valuable members of their boards. More than one executive had bankrupted themselves just to obtain  _one_  in their lifetimes, and the wealthy  _did not share_ their ticket to delayed mortality with those 'beneath' them.  
  
 _"Seventy five_  billion." Klein corrected. Then a grin spread across his face. "During our escape from the surgical center, I...  _liberated_ a case that was reserved for the SDC's board. Seeing as how they sold the planet out to Hyperion, I believe that constituted enough of a penalty to revoke their supply. Good luck to them in trying to get Hyperion to share their hoard."  
  
"An... entire...  _case..._  of Instant-Youth's..." Mordecai said slowly, his mouth hung open.  
  
Qrow whistled low. "Could probably use one of those bad boys in a decade or two." Then something Klein had mentioned bothered him. "Wait. You mentioned 'I have to warn you.' What's wrong?"  
  
Klein sighed. "The unadvertised side-effects of the Instant-Youth. Manic episodes. Suicidal overconfidence. Existential angst. Mood swings. Seeing into the 'Unknowable Dimensions.' Dry mouth. And these effects can last for  _months."_  
  
"So we keep an eye on her, and don't let her operate any heavy machinery, got it." Qrow nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Best take us to sleeping beauty then."  
  
"Very well, I shall lead you to her and begin the revival process." Klein motioned for them to follow. "Then we can move her out of the tunnels, and to your vessel, where we shall part ways."  
  
Mordecai quirked his head to the side. "You ain't comin' with?"  
  
Klein shook his head. "No. I believe my service to the Schnee family to be  _quite_ complete after this." His walking pattern changed, hinting at another personality change. "And since the SDC got gobbled up, and the family's assets got  _swiped,_ it's not like they can keep  _payin'_ me, now can they?"  
  
*****  
  
 _"-we go. She's coming to already."_  
  
A beautiful woman in white pajamas with snowflake embroidery slowly came to wake in a bullet ridden hospital bed. Her face was smooth and shone with good health, her fluttering eyes clear blue, and her hair... well, her hair was a goddamn mess, but what can you do?  
  


**_WILLOW SCHNEE_ **

**_SUPER not ready for this morning_ **

  
She rubbed at the grogginess in her eyes as she shuffled upinto a sitting position. Klein was saying 'welcome back' or something  
  
"G'mornnig." She sleepily answered.  
  
There were two scruffy looking men who looked to be Huntsmen in the room. Additional security? Willow supposed she could put up with it if she could persuade them to bring her a drink. Or five.  
  
 _"-may come as a shock-"_ She could hear Klein still talking. She mentally shrugged it off. Someone would handle things for her if it were urgent. They always did. She reached into the overnight bag attached to the end of her bed and retrieved her scroll.  
  
 _"-SDC and everything your family had-"  
_  
"Mmhmm." She powered on the scroll. She wondered when Klein would be done. He was such a nice man, but he could go and on for about this and that. She was rather hungry, and hoped breakfast would be soon.  
  
 _"-'am? Are you listening?'_  
  
"Very good, Klein..." She brought up the news. There were pictures of buildings in flames. That was sad. She wished they'd post stories about nice dogs doing funny things. Big happy dogs. She wanted a dog. But Jacques would never let her have one in the house. Oh, well...  
  
 _"-invasion-"  
_  
"That's nice..." She murmured, flicking across the news articles. They all seemed to be about... the... same... thing...  
  
And then suddenly her mind comprehended what was on her scroll.  
  
"Klein! Quick! Fetch the constabulary! The Hyperion vagabonds have invaded!"  
  
"... Yes, ma'am." Klein sighed. "That's what I've been trying to tell you-"  
  
 _"And what is that awful robot doing to my father's statue?!"_  
  
Klein quickly eyed the scroll, watching the up-and-down motion of a loaderbot in the background of a gif. "I believe the youths call that 'tea-bagging,' ma'am. Now if I might ask that you settle down some, so I might explain?"  
  
Wakefulness shot throughout Willow's entire being.  _Now_ she was up. Scanning her surroundings, she found she was  _not_  in the first class hospital room she had gone to sleep in. "Are we in one of the escape tunnel's  _panic rooms?_  I haven't been down here since I was a little girl!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am. We are  _currently_ safe underneath the manor, but these men are here to escort you to Atlas, where you can weather out the storm." Klein gestured at the two Hunstmen. "May I introduce Qrow Branwen and Mordecai..."  
  
"Just Mordecai." The masked stranger grunted. "How ya feelin', lady? Up for a trip?"  
  
Willow huffed in frustration. "I feel perfectly fine! Now how did this happen?!"  
  
"Trust me lady, that's just the drugs." Qrow warned. "I'm sure once we get you to Atlas, you can get some R&R chill out until the high wears off."  
  
"Drugs? What drugs? My vice is the drink, and  _purely_ the drink!" Willow snapped, offended.  
  
Klein coughed uneasily. "My lady, while you were recovering from your operation, I had to transfer you to these tunnels. A small adventure fraught with danger, where you were... well, ma'am. You were  _shot._ Repeatedly."  
  
Willow's mouth dropped open. After a moment, she instinctively began to feel about her body all over with her hands, looking for any wounds.  _"I was what?!"_ She demanded in a high pitched, panicked voice.  
  
"Not to worry, I was able to to revive you with a series of Insta-Healths, as well as a full dose of an Instant-Youth." Klein digistructed a mirror from his personal SDU, hidden in his pocket watch. He passed it to Willow, and she saw... a face she hadn't seen in a long time.  
  
The lines were gone, her skin looked tighter, and there was a smoothness to it that normally required a variety of creams to reproduce. She looked how she did  _before_ Jacques. How she looked during... better times. "I... wasn't due for one for another thirty or forty years." She breathed in a steadying breath. "All right, I've... calmed down some. Please tell me what's happened while I've been... indisposed."  
  
Klein nodded. "As you can see, Hyperion has invaded and taken control of the planet. The SDC has effectively been  _merged."  
_  
Willow winced. "How... how did Jacques allow this to happen? This is- this is..."  
  
"He surrendered. After which, the defenses under his command stood down, and he was taken into Hyperion's custody.  
  
There was a moment of stunned silence from her.  
  
"Jacques... surrendered?" She broke it after a few more seconds, and a slow smile spread across her face.  
  
"Uh, yeah?" Mordecai shuffled uneasily. "He gave up the second the outer fleet got wiped, from what I heard."  
  
A shocked, but relieved laugh burst from Willow's lips. Then it transformed into a chuckle. Then a long, long guffaw. "I'm free... I'm  _FREE!"_  
  
Qrow took a step back. "What?"  
  
Klein's eye brows shot up. "Ah, right. I hadn't considered  _that._ Both my lady and the master are Atlesian nobility, and as such follow Atlesian marriage law."  
  
Happy tears flowed from her eyes as she calmed herself enough to explain.  _"Hee hee_...His vows included the traditional line that he was to defend my family's territory and property until his  _dying breath._  The mustachioed fool just  _completely_  annulled our marriage! Ha HA!"  
  
"Not a happy marriage, I take it?" Qrow whispered to Klein.  
  
Klein turned to him, eyes wide, and mouthed the word 'no' while shaking his head. His eyes flashed a bit, but returned to their normal color. Potentially a sign of maintaining control of his condition while in front of his employer.  
  
Willow managed to regain her composure enough to make the laughter subside. Klein took the opportunity to continue. "I  _would_ like to add that during our escape, I came across the Schnee family vault. I only had enough time recover one item, and I sincerely hope that you shall be pleased."  
  
He moved across the room and dragged an ornate wooden chest to her bedside. Willow threw off her covers, and picked herself off the bed, taking a few staggering steps forward. "Is that...?"  
  
"Your father's old travel chest!" Klein replied brightly. "Hopefully this will make you feel more at home once you've moved to a secure location."  
  
Willow reached down and tentatively opened the lid. Inside the old box contained an ornate battle ax with the Schnee family crest engraved into the blade. "Father's ax? I'd have thought a museum would have bought it off of Jacques by now..."  
  
Klein smiled sheepishly. "They tried. I always made sure such correspondence never reached his desk."  
  
Willow smiled at him, genuinely grateful. Then she noticed what the ax lay on top of. "Father's coat!" Willow exclaimed.  
  
Eagerly reaching underneath the weapon, she withdrew a long, heavy red coat with white fur trim. Impulsively, she slid her arms into the sleeves and shrugged it on. Her mind was almost instantly besieged of happy memories of bedtime stories, milk and cookies, and warm fireplaces. The coat was positively  _gigantic_ on her. A small giggle escaped her lips.  
  
"Might have to get it resized." Mordecai laughed.  
  
Willow rolled her eyes and adjusted something within the coat. It instantly shrank down to her size. "Father's weight had a tendency to... fluctuate whenever he forgot his diet. He had some neat little additions made once the SDC started making serious money, such as an automatic fitting circuit, cooling fibers to shrug off warm weather, and many, many hidden pockets." She shot a look to Klein, still smiling. "Are the children here? They should see this!"  
  
Klein's own smile fell. "Well, ma'am... about that."  
  
Willow's mood fell as an icy cold spike of  _fear_ hit her all at once. "Klein?"  
  
"Now... while we could not move you because you still needed to recover from your condition. However we  _did_ manage to evacuate your son into Winter's custody. She has already seen to it that he shall be cared for,  _and dare I say,_  take the first steps that will let him be forged into the kind of man his grandfather would proud of." Klein reassured. "And once you've been relocated to Atlas, you shall be staying with her as well!"  
  
  
"Oh," Willow breathed a bit easier. "And Winter  _wants_ to see me? That's...  _wonderful!"_  The small moment was ruined as she noticed Klein hadn't mentioned her middle child. "But what of Weiss? Is she all right?"  
  
Klein shuffled uneasily. "Well... while she  _did_ manage to evacuate  _herself,_  we managed to track the trajectory of her FTL jump... to Pandora."  
  
"Pandora?" Willow's mouth dropped open.  
  
Klein nodded. "Yes, ma'am. For some reason, her course changed from Atlas territory.  _Why,_  we're still not sure."  
  
"Pandora."  
  
"Seems to be stuck on that point." Murmured Mordecai to Qrow, who nodded in agreement.  
  
 _"Pandora?!"_ Willow's face tightened in horror. She then proceeded to grab her father's ax and made a rush for the door.  
  
Qrow grabbed her shoulders, gently restraining her. "Easy lady! Where do you think you're goin'?"  
  
"Pandora!" Willow yelped. "My baby needs me! I need to go to her!"  
  
"The only thing _you_ need to do is get to Atlas!" Qrow countered. "We can worry about your kid later. Right now, our mission is to get  _you_ to safety."  
  
"But-!" Willow protested.  
  
Qrow rolled his eyes. "I'm sure your  _other_  daughter can handle things! She's an upper level Atlas type, I'm sure she can send a rescue team for the kid."  
  
Angry tears edged out of Willow's eyes as she stomped her foot in frustration. She hated this complete and utter feeling of... _helplessness._  
  
She remembered this feeling.  
  
She remembered it when her instructors told her not to push herself in school, and instead focus on her duties as an heiress.  
  
She remembered it when her father had gently urged her to entertain Jacques advances.  
  
She remembered it when Jacques told her he'd take care of the business, and she needn't worry.  
  
She remembered it when she looked in the mirror the first time her 'friends' had told her to let the staff focus on raising the children and just lose herself in the drink.  
  
It was at that moment, Willow Schnee came to the conclusion that  _far_ too many people in her life had  _told her what to do._  
  
"Very well." She said, far too calmly. "I shall... accompany you."  
  
"Really?" Mordecai asked. "Just like that?"  
  
"Really." Willow lied.  
  
*****  
  
After letting Willow get dressed into her usual outfit- with the addition of the coat- they made their way out of the tunnels. There was a tense few moments as they allowed a Hyperion patrol to pass by, not willing to risk Willow's safety. Klein accompanied them, as per the arrangement. He provided helpful tips on how to navigate the capitol of Mantle, and let them avoid the worst of the debris from the invasion. He even graciously carried her father's chest all the while.  
  
Coming to their destination at long last, Willow was greeted with the sight of the long angular proportions of the type of ship the IHA preferred to use. It was the size of a semi-truck, and looked just as heavily used with numerous dents and scratches embedded into it's hull. Perched over the cockpit, a large bat-bird stood vigilant. Spotting the humans approaching, she screeched and swooped down to meet them.  
  
"Heya, Bloodwing. We miss anything?" Mordecai said to her as she landed on his outstretched arm, lightly screeching a reply. "Ah, that's good."  
  
Willow gasped. "Is that an Edenian blood hawk?"  
  
Mordecai, taken aback, rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, yeah-"  
  
"She's  _beautiful!"_ A look of wonder spread across her face. She held out her hands in askance of the bird.  
  
Bloodwing nodded her head and accepted the scritches with grace.  
  
"Gentlemen, one last thing." Klein walked forward and passed Qrow a long heavy case. "I would prefer  _not_ to travel without a trillion dollar target on my back. I trust the IHA will know what to do with it."  
  
Qrow popped open the case. Inside, it contained nearly two hundred Instant-Youth vials. His blood drained from his face when he started mentally calculating how much  _money's worth_ was in his hands.  
  
"The only one's missing are the one I gave to Missus- well  _Miss_  Schnee now, and two I've taken for myself. One to sell, and one to enjoy the retirement money with." Klein added with a grin. He then rolled his shoulders, and faced Willow, who had extracted herself from her new bird friend. "Madame, I can't say it was a complete pleasure serving you and your former husband, but it was a  _joy_ taking care of your children."  
  
"Thank you, Klein." She said sincerely.  
  
Klein took one step forward, and let his eyes flash to a different personality. "Take this as your last second chance. Be the mother and  _person_  you know you always should have been." Another eye color flash. "Farewell, Willow Schnee."  
  
"Farewell, Klein Sieben." Willow bowed her head lightly.  
  
Klein returned it, stepped back, turned about, and walked out of her life forever.  
  
Qrow shifted uneasily as he saw Willow's downcast face. "You gonna be all ri-?"  
  
"Let's just go." She said quietly.  
  
*****  
  
After they loaded themselves onto the ship, Qrow stowed away the chest while Mordecai put Bloodwing away in her own private room. The bird had been awake for quite a while, and needed the nap.  
  
Willow had found her way to a cabinet in the main dining area. Clicking it open out of curiosity, she found it to be a fully stocked drinks cabinet. A slow smile came across her face as an idea came to her. She quickly searched the room for a first aid kit, and after finding it she slid a select few items out. Pocketing them, she made her way back to the cabinet.  
  
Qrow walked in just in time as she was carefully selecting three different bottles. "What're you doing?"  
  
"Fixing myself a drink." Willow answered back. "You have an extensive liquor cabinet. Will you two want one? I certainly need it."  
  
"Sure. I'm not one to turn down a glass. We'll be on autopilot all the way to Altas anyhow." He cupped his hand and shouted further into the ship. "Hey, Mordy! You want a drink? Miss Schnee here is making one!"  
  
"Sure!" Answered Mordecai's voice.  
  
Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, Willow poured in the items from the first aid kit. After a time, both Huntsmen joined her in what she came to know was the mess hall of the ship. After she finished mixing the drinks, she added three little umbrella's and brought them to a table. After seating themselves and passing them the glasses, Willow raised her own. "To second chances."  
  
"Hear, hear." Mordecai smiled and downed his own.  
  
Qrow nodded his agreement and drank his own.  
  
Careful not to give herself away, Willlow finished her own drink. Setting down the glass, she patiently waited for the effects to kick in.  
  
She did not have to wait long.  
  
Qrow swayed unsteadily in his seat. "Wow, that's got... quite the kick."  
  
Mordecai slumped forward weakly. "Qrow... I don't think that was a... normal cocktail..."  
  
"Apologies, gentlemen. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but Klein was right, and it is long past time I started acting like a mother." Willow said honestly.  
  
Qrow tried to stand, but only succeeded in falling back into his chair. "Whaaa....?"  
  
Willow flashed a sad smile. "What you just drank is what I call the Tuesday Night Special. I invented after mixing several items from my bathroom's first aid kit and my liquor cabinet. You'll be indisposed of for quite some time."  
  
Mordecai pointed a weak finger at her. "Hooooow...?"  
  
"Oh, you'd be  _amazed_ at what my alcohol tolerance is like. It normally takes  _seven_ of these for me to achieve inebriation." Willow said as she took the glasses from their limp hands, neatly stacked them and returned them to the tray to for future cleaning. "And that was  _before_ I had this new top-of-the-line cybernetic liver installed. It's entirely possible that with the nanomachines housed within it, I may never experience drunkenness again. Initially, I resented this feature, but now it's come quite handy."  
  
Qrow could only grunt his protest.  
  
Willow simply made up what she had hoped his response would be in her head. "Yes, I know. It's rather  _cheating,_ but I simply  _must_ see to my daughter."  
  
Qrow passed out.  
  
"And everything shall be fine." She whispered the lie to herself.


	9. Sure, let's pile ALL the gambits.

It had been a few days (standard, not Pandoran) since the four Huntresses had begun working for Angel. In that time, they had completed over two dozen side jobs, getting clearance codes, security layouts, and advice from Pandorans who had either worked with the Atlas facility or those who were familiar with it. Now, they were enjoying a brief period of downtime, getting ready for the next big challenge.  
  
Angel sat in the dining room, pondering her plans over a warm cup of ungodly decaffeinated coffee as Blake walked in. She looked in askance of the Siren, and Angel indicated for her to sit down across from her.  
  
"So, I've been meaning to ask you..." Blake began as she took her seat. "As much as I am trying to repress everything that happened on the island, I have to know. What was that 'Project Wonderstorm' you were looking for?"  
  
Angel nodded as she sipped her coffee. "Old DAHL terraforming project. Designed specially to make arid worlds more livable. I wanted to see if it could be used to make Pandora less... hellish."  
  
Blake quirked a brow. "If you wanted a terraformer, why not go to Atlas? Even other corporations agree they're better at that kind of technology than anyone else."  
  
Angel shook her head. "Atlas is currently in a huge war with Hyperion, and I would prefer not to draw more attention than absolutely needed." She contemplated her reflection in the coffee cup. "Besides, Atlas already tamed their own Siren. I know General Ironwood's doing a  _lot_  to change the company, but monsters like Atlas don't turn over a new leaf overnight."  
  
"And we have  _two_ Sirens here on Pandora." Blake added quietly. "I suppose people knowing an entire third of the Siren population was here on Pandora would probably make us a gigantic target by- well, by  _everybody."_  
  
Angel nodded seriously. "I have a plan for that."  
  
"Oh?" Blake blinked.  
  
The Siren looked her dead in the eye. "Mo' money, mo' guns."  
  
Blake's face was a show of dubiety before relaxing and let out a small snicker. "Well, I can't say that's not a  _wise_  decision, but I was hoping for something more..."  
  
"Concrete?" Angel finished. "Complicated plans are prone to falling apart. I prefer to adapt on the fly."  
  
"Hmm," Blake hummed. "What about expanding the company?"  
  
"I've been thinking about that too." Angel sighed. "Maybe a second team to handle the more menial tasks like we had yesterday?"  
  
Blake's ears flattened. "Trying to get a windmill farm working again while a flock of rakk's try to dive-bomb us every second was hardly menial."  
  
"I can put the word out for some Hunters." Angel sipped at the coffee, sidestepping Blake's comment. "We'll be able to have you focus on the harder missions. The local chatrooms have already been talking about all the good the Guardian Angel team has been-"  
  
"Team RWBY." Blake interrupted. "Traditional IHA name theming with all the first letters of our names mashed into something comprehensible. We hashed it out during the thing with the crab worms."  
  
 _"Team RWBY_  has earned enough goodwill, so I'm certain they'll see us as trustworthy enough to recommend us to any local Hunters."  
  
Blake relaxed into her chair. "It'll be nice not to be the only steak going into the meat grinder."  
  
Angel closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them with a sharp intake of breath. "There. It's done. Our new advertisement should be all over Pandora's chatrooms and message board's now."  
  
Blake's eyes widened slightly. "I keep forgetting you can do that."  
  
"Hopefully, we're not going to be dredging the bottom of the barrel." Angel tempted fate with a yawn.  
  
*****  
  
A hooded young man in tattered clothes and battered white armor slumbered in the wreck of an old bus that had been torn in half. A beeping from his ECHO device caused him to snort into full wakefulness. He tapped the device a few times and sighed explosively in relief.  _"Work!_  Thank the gods, I'm so hungry..."  
  
And with that, a baby scythid leapt through the shattered window of the bus, grabbed his ECHO unit, and slithered at high speed out of the wide open wound of the vehicle.  
  
 _"Heeeeey!"_  He yelped as he ran after it.  
  
It would take him the rest of the morning to get it back.  
  
*****  
  
Ruby stood at the Catch-A-Ride station flicking at the settings, and occasionally cackling madly as she min-maxed her ride. She was so occupied with this task, she never noticed her sister walking up to her.  
  
"Might want to take off a few of those guns. Don't want it to be too top heavy in the turret." Yang said over her shoulder.  
  
"I could go for the obvious joke, but I'd get smacked." Ruby took a moment to save her settings before turning around.  
  
"Wise."  
  
She saw Yang had forgone her vacation outfit, and instead had donned a yellow leather jacket, tan leggings with shin guards, a Huntresses belt with pouches, a low cut white tank top, and a red scarf that completed the look.  
  
"You're gonna sweat an ocean in that getup." Ruby commented slyly.  
  
"Says Captain Cape." Yang snorted. "But seriously, it's fine. I got cooling fibers in the jacket. And I'd prefer to keep the dust from shredding me on my bike."  
  
"That's what shields are for." Ruby said leaning against the Catch-A-Ride machine. There was a long, tense silence between the two. "I know what you're going to say. I shouldn't go after the Vault."  
  
"Every Siren who's gone after it died in the attempt." Yang said quietly, but seriously.  
  
"They didn't have Angel, or a team. Historically, the five Sirens who came and died on Pandora came solo." Ruby protested.  
  
"Like you did." Yang added dryly.  
  
"That's different!"  
  
"... How?" Yang asked, bemused.  
  
"I'm... far more awesome than they were?" Ruby proclaimed, not even believing in her own BS.  
  
A long silence followed with an honest-to-god tumbleweed blowing past them.  
  
"... I wasn't even expecting to find the Vault, I just wanted the dreams to go away. Or at least find answers as to what they mean." Ruby begrudgingly admitted.  
  
Yang sighed. "Ruby-"  
  
"And if you want to talk about things we told Dad we weren't going to do," Ruby interrupted. "How'd your meeting with your  _Raven_ go?"  
  
Yang huffed and averted her gaze. "... I don't want to talk about it."  
  
Ruby's face went from defiance, to guiltily looking at the ground. "That bad, huh?"  
  
Crossing her arms, Yang said, "She's everything Dad and Uncle Qrow warned us about. If anything... she's gotten  _worse._  She also replaced me with some kid she picked up. So there's that."  
  
"I'm sorry." Ruby apologized, fumbling with her hands.  
  
Yang gently punched her sister in the arm. "I'm sorry, too. And..." She grimaced. "We shouldn't have made you make that promise. You''re an adult now, and we have to accept that you're not necessarily going to make decisions we like. And besides, it worked out."  
  
Ruby hesitantly poked the mood change with metaphorical stick. "Yeah, you got to meet a ninja lady who constantly wears a bikini."  
  
"Yeah," Yang sighed happily. "There  _is_  that. Even if she is a little nutty."  
  
"Oh, for sure." Ruby nodded. "... Does she sneak into your room at night and check your pulse, too?"  
  
"She's been doing it to everybody." Yang shrugged. "Two years on a Pandoran island with nothing but dead people and animals will do that, I guess."  
  
"We'll help her readjust." Ruby beamed. "She just needs time."  
  
Yang smiled. "Never change, Rubles."  
  
 *******  
  
IHA Headquarters  
  
Ozpin's office.  
  
******  
  
Sitting at his desk, Ozpin sighed as a beeping interrupted his cat video time. He had been expecting this call. His hands flickered across a panel, bringing forth a holoprojection before his desk.  
  
"Hello, James. How have you been?" He asked as he folded his hands over tabletop.  
  
The hologram of a stern man in a white uniform, with grey at his temples, and a stiffness that only comes from extensive prosthesis, nodded at Ozpin.  
  


**_GENERAL IRONWOOD_ **

**_The Line in the Interstellar Sand._ **

  
_"I've been better, and I've been worse."_ He said bluntly.  _"I was hoping to ask you what you're up to in regards to the Schnees."  
_  
"Playing the odds. Did you know that by surrendering-"  
  
 _"-Jacques invalidated his claim to the SDC and annulled his marriage, I know. I'm_ Atlesian, _Oz. I may never have been nobility, but I know how the system works."  
_  
Ozpins spread his hands wide. "I would have thought you'd be glad to know that Hyperion's merger of the biggest producer of high quality Dust was on legally unstable ground."  
  
Ironwood's face was a picture of unmoved stone.  _"The SDC fell because it's board betrayed their homeworld by selling Hyperion the codes to the orbital defense stations,_ after _letting the outer defense fleets get slaughtered. Even if the merger was illegitimate, the company is rotten from the inside out."  
_  
Ozpin pressed a button that digistructed a cup of hot chocolate before him. "It wasn't always that way."  
  
 _"Of course not."_ Ironwood sighed explosively.  _"But-"  
_  
"Tell me, James," Ozpin cut him off. "Did you ever meet Nicholas Schnee?"  
  
 _"No."_ Ironwood shook his head, raising a brow.  _"I never had that distinct pleasure. I used to dream of meeting the man, and asking to join one of his great hunts. Unfortunately, by the time I built up my skills enough to the point where it would not be_ too  _arrogant to ask, he had passed away."  
_  
"I knew him well," Ozpin gently blew on the steaming mug. "One of  _the_ kindest and gentlest people I've ever known in my entire life. He never set out to be a great warrior, or a corporate leader. He only ever wanted to do the most amount of good he could. His single greatest hope was that the SDC would carry on his work after he was gone."  
  
 _"And then he let Jacques take over."_ James said flatly.  
  
"He was a good man, just not a particularly perceptive one." Ozpin conceded. "The hand that's been dealt to his legacy is, admittedly, a poor one... but, not necessarily a  _losing_  one."  
  
Ironwood considered a moment, then nodded. "Fine. Whatever it is you're planning, I won't interfere. There were other things we needed to talk about anyway."  
  
"Hyperion." Ozpin guessed.  
  
"Their tech is evolving at an accelerated rate. We can't even hack into their computers anymore." Ironwood made a gesture, and several images of Hyperion robots, warships, and guns filled the air around him. "It's getting to the point where I don't think we'll be able to win this war, or at least not without  _significant_ losses that would leave us vulnerable to other competitors like Maliwan."  
  
Ozpin grimaced. "I'm sorry, James. I didn't think he would be able to reverse engineer my people's technology this fast."  
  
"Their ships are faster, their shields are stronger, and their capital weaponry has far longer range and accuracy. I've had to give standing orders that any fleet action we take against them are to be  _purely_ hit and run. We  _cannot_  beat them in a battle of attrition." His face softened, almost pleading. "Oz. I know you're reasons for denying my requests before, but Atlas  _needs_ another Eridian Vault. We  _have_ to be able to counter their tech."  
  
Ozpin took off his darkened glasses and rubbed his eyes. "If I could, I would, James. I wasn't exactly on good terms with my government back in my day. Too much stealing from the rich, giving to the poor, and saving damsels in distress from abusive fathers will do that, I suppose."  
  
Ironwood furrowed his brow. "You've been resurrecting for ten thousand years, you have to know  _something."  
_  
"I  _am_  working on something," Ozpin confessed, trying to put his friend at ease. "I  _know_  there's at least one Vault on Pandora, but it requires a Siren to open it  _with_ it's own special key. Where might the key be? I have no idea. What the Vault contains? Even less so."  
  
Ironwood frowned. "I've read Atlas' report on the Vault of Pandora. Before my time. They spent decades searching, but could never find it."  
  
"My assets on Pandora know where it is, they just need the key. Or something that could substitute it's energy signature and hack the quantum lock on the Vault itself."  
  
"They'll also need people to counter whatever defense mechanism is within it." Ironwood began to pace. "I could send your asset a team of my best. We both know what happened when Typhon Deleon opened Promethea's Vault."  
  
"I'm quite confident in my asset's ability to overcome the obstacles." Ozpin sipped at his cocoa. "But, I'm sure she won't mind the assistance. I'll have to contact her first."  
  
Ironwood nodded. "Good. I'll send Schnee, Steele, and a couple other people whose rising stars I've been watching."  
  
Ozpin hummed in thought. Steele would be the second Siren on Pandora. Maybe the _third,_  if Angel had followed his recommendation. If he could maneuver events to put the other three on the planet at the same time, the Vault would  _surely_  be opened. Wouldn't it? And even if they didn't, the gathering of all the Sirens in the universe  _would_  most likely force his enemies to come out into the open...  
  
Not even  _she_ could ignore something so bold.  
  
 _One hell of a dice roll._ Ozpin thought to himself as he and Ironwood shifted the conversation to anti-Grimm efforts in area's that had seen wide spread fear and panic on the front lines.  
  
 *******  
  
PANDORA  
  
MOUNT SCARAB  
  
New Pandora Headquarters  
  
*******  
  
The giant doors to the old DAHL facility came crashing down, jolting the morose members of the New Pandora militia out of their daily routine. Before they could collect their bearings, a man in a fashionable white coat strolled through the doors twirling a black cane. His bright red hair was obscured by a black bowler hat, and what was visible of his face contained only smirking contempt.  
  


**_ROMAN TORCHWICK_ **

**_Big Enough Bad For A Given Budget_ **

  
"Wow. What was the old saying? 'They don't build them like they used to?' If that's true, no wonder you DAHL folks are the whipping boys of all the big corporations!" He said, walking at a steady pace.  
  
The New Pandoran's finally pulled themselves together and opened fire.  
  
Roman spun his cane rapidly in front of himself, creating a barrier that deflected the onslaught of bullets. He proceeded to yawn theatrically.  
  
"Really? That's all you got?" He mocked, shaking his head as they continued to waste ammo. "Boys! Show these chumps what I pay you for!"  
  
From behind him, a gaggle of two dozen shabbily dressed (yet in a highly  _chic_ and color coordinated way) stormed through the hole. New Pandora fired upon them with varying degrees of success. Some were knocked back, their shields or Aura's being hammered with gunfire, others powered through and closed the distance. As the melee ensued, Roman chuckled.  
  
He stopped at one of the New Pandora soldiers holding his guts in, obviously a victim of one of his allies. Roman tapped the man's head with his cane. "Pandorans, am I right? All I had to do was tell these fine people that there was a bunch of DAHL soldiers hiding out in Mount Scarab, and  _boy howdy_ , did they want a piece of every single one of you." The smile faded, and Roman blinked. "'Boy howdy?' Am I someone who says ' _boy howdy'_ now? Oh, I might have to schedule myself an existential crisis for later."  
  
"Y-you can't... can't kill our dr-dream of-" The man gurgled.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're going to win-  _somehow_  even though you're dying at my feet. Keep believeing that." Roman rolled his eyes. "But if you want to die a quick and relatively painless end, you could just get it over with and tell me where your dear ol' pal Colonel Hector is."  
  
The man coughed blood. "Why? Y-you won't b-be alive long en-enough."  
  
As if on que, three large DAHL powersuits came clambering up into the main chamber of the chasm. Twelve foot tall large mechs piloted by the New Pandoran militia, painted green, but spray painted with new slogans and emblems, and bearing exposed cockpits. Their heavy machine guns blazing, they forced the attackers into a more defensive position. The few of Roman's pandorans that tried to close the distance were brutally punished with the pilots bringing their heavy shields down on them squashing those whose Aura's couldn't compensate for the damage.  
  
Roman cocked a brow. "Well that's annoying. NEO!"  
  
The air before them  _shimmered,_ and a very short woman with brown and pink hair and mismatched eyes simply  _appeared._ She was dressed in a sharp, perfectly tailored lady suit, and carried with her a fancy parasol. She smiled with false innocence as the powersuits targeted her. The opening salvo connected with her... only for her to  _shatter_  into nothingness. Before the confusion could fully register, she reappeared on the center unit's open cockpit, unsheathed a hidden sword, and stabbed it into the operator's lap several times before leaping off.  
  
She landed on the left powersuit, and gave a jaunty wave to the rightmost unit, whom fired on her practically on cue. To his frustration, her image shattered  _again,_ and he only succeeded in shooting up his comrade. He scanned the surroundings in a panic, trying to find her. He need not have bothered, for the small woman came into view, hanging upside down over his cockpit, and smacked him in the face with a cream pie.  
  
It would have been funny, had she not included horrifyingly strong  _acid_  in it's ingredients.  
  
She leapt off the mech, used her parasol to float down, and waved goodbye to the poor pilots.  
  
For, unbeknownst to them, while her illusions had kept them distracted, she had planted bombs on their power cores.  
  
She landed, took a bow, and let the explosions light the background behind her.  
  


**_NEOPOLITAN_ **

**_The Most Adorable Murderer in the Six Galaxies_ **

  
"So! You gonna tell me where your boss is,  _now?_  Or should I let  _her_ take over the interrogation?" Roman asked the prone man. "Hint; she's really bad at the questioning part. It's basically like watching a little kid pulling off insect wings."  
  
"Y-you and you gi-girlfriend can go t-to hell," The guard sputtered with blood gushing from his side. "Colonel... Colonel Hector will kill you.. both."  
  
 _"Excuse you._ Our relationship is explicitly  _ambiguous,_ Private Nosey." Roman said as he brought his cane down on the man's head, crushing it like a melon. "... And now I have to find someone else to stab and prod for info."  
  
Neo took out her scroll, tapped a text onto it, and flicked the send button. Nothing happened. Her brow furrowed in frustration as she hit the scroll again. She stomped her foot and pointed at the device, trying to get Roman's attention.  
  
He huffed in irritation. "Yeah, I  _know_  the chat's not working! We're underground! There's no signal!"  
  
She folded the scroll away and began to make rapid hand gestures.  
  
"Oh, for the love of- sign slower! I can't tell what you're saying when you go that fast!"  
  
Neo's eye twitched, and she gave him a hand gesture there was  _no_ mistaking, no matter how what speed it came at. Roman crossed his arms and waited. The sign language came at a much more reasonable pace.  
  
"No, I don't think they'll have very many more of those." Roman shook his head. "Besides, these boys seem pretty lactose intolerant, and I have my weaponised scoop of ice cream." Neo looked at him with pity. "Because you're- shut up, I'm funny."  
  
Neo smiled the smile that people give when they recognize someone has told a joke, but didn't find it funny enough to laugh at. The participation trophy of amused responses, if you will.  
  
"Now come on. We need get the Eridium mining equipment secured and ready to start running if we want to appease Little Miss Cosplay and Cosmic Nightmare MILF." Roman gestured forward.  
  
Walking up to his side, she looped her arm through his, and they continued forward through the massacre around them.  
  
 _*****  
  
AN: And now, to write another Willow chapter. Which is what I initially wanted to do, but I had to do this first.  
  
NEXT UP! Willow Wanders into the Pandoran Wild. Someone save her ass.  
  
NEXT FUN LITTLE SIDE CONTENT: JNPR mini-chapter trailers. (These won't be long at all. Don't expect Red, White, Black, and Yellow lengths.)  
  
And maybe a side quest montage.  
  
Next (Main Story) Chapter: ALL OUT ASSAULT PROJECT COMPASS!_


End file.
